Heal the Broken (UNCONTINUED)

Chapter 13

13. 

[Lexi's POV]

Niall walked out obviously upset, not able to handle this and to be honest, neither could I. I wanted to run after him, cry with him, be comforted by him. He always made me feel safe. I didn't want to leave here, I wanted to stay. 

'But... Why?' I asked my dad looking at him with tears in my eyes. 'I was supposed to have 2 more months here...' Maura grabbed my hand to comfort me. 

'We uuuhm... We have a shortage of medical personel on the base so we need you to come back and help out.' dad answerred looking down.

'How? We had too much when I left?!'

'That doesn't matter.' he said and I raised my eyebrows. 'The important thing is that we need you back, so your leave is being shortened.'

'When? When do I have to leave?' I asked him, fearing the answer. 

'Tomorrow... We leave tomorrow around noon so you'll have the weekend to get rid of your jetlag and start fresh monday morning.'

'What?! But I... I have to say goodbye like now and pack my bags?'

'Yes, I'm sorry Lexi.' dad said looking around the table. Everyone looked shocked, emotional. I stood up and left the same way Niall did, they called after me but I didn't reply. I had to go, I had to talk to Niall, I had to... I just had to deal with this, the goodbyes that were to come too fast, too soon. I couldn't handle it all. I stomped up the stairs, ran straight over to Niall's room to find him crept together in the window sill, crying. I sat down next to him, my hand on his knee, looking up at him, tears streaming down my face. He looked up at the feeling of my touch and saw me. We looked at eachother knowing what both of us wanted to say but neither of us could. Niall came down the window sill and sat down next to me, pulling me into his chest, our heads on eachothers shoulders and we sat there crying for what felt like hours. At some point I looked up at Niall, into his amazing watery blue eyes. 

'I just... I just want someone who will stay in my life... So I won't... So I won't have to worry about another goodbye.' and I fell down again, crying in Niall's arms. I knew Niall would stay, but it just... It would be incredibly hard, him being here, me back at the base... There was nothing else to do then say goodbye. This was goodbye, but I wasn't going to say that to him right now... I couldn't say that to him right now. I'd figure out a way to say it but not right now, I decided I'd do it after I'd left. 

'This is not goodbye, we'll see eachother again, I am sure of it. I promise...' Niall answerred stroking my hair and cheeks. My sobs slowly calmed down.

'I...' he started stuttering, getting nervous. I pulled back from him, trying to look into his eyes but he was looking down. 

'It's ok...' I said and he looked up. 'I uhm.. I'm gonna go pack my stuff..' and I stood up and left the room, leaving Niall by himself. 

As I walked into my room I sat down on the bed, my elbows on my knees, my head in my hands and I just cried. Why? Why was this so hard? I'd grown fond of everyone here but leaving Niall.. It felt like my heart was breaking all over again.. It was different but somewhat also simular to loosing Josh. I shook the thought and started packing. As I was almost done my dad walked into the room. 

'Everything allright?' he asked and I just nodded. 

'I'll be in Niall's room.' I said walking passed him. I didn't want to talk to him right now. 

Niall sat in his window sill again, with his guitar but he wasnt playing it.. He just had it there and was looking outside, up at the stars. He looked up hearing me close the door and gave a weak smile. I walked over to him and sat down across from him like I did most nights. 

'I'll miss this...' I said looking at Niall, trying to find his eyes, to see how he felt, his eyes always talked to me, more than his actual words. 

'Me too...' he said fumbling with his hands stil looking outside. 'I uuh.. I want to tell you something before you have to go..' he said slowly turning his head towards me. 

'Ok...' I answerred hesitantly. Did I really want to know what he was about to say? I was scared.. Scared that what he was about to say would only make it harder for me to leave him.

'I uuh.. I want you to know how I feel about you before you leave. I want to tell you face to face.' I nodded. 'I... Lately... I've been feeling very close to you and I uuh.. God I don't know how to even say this.' he said putting his hand through his hair. I just looked at him, a knot in my stomac. 'I, I know it'll freak you out, and I know you probably won't feel the same, with Josh and all...' he paused again.

'Just say it.' I said to him and he sighed, looking me straight in the eyes.

'I'm falling for you... I fell for you... hard...' he then said and I just looked at him. I'd noticed him becoming closer to me but this.. I somehow didn't fully expect this. He stood up and layed down on his bed, on his back, his hands on his head, going through his hair. I looked at him and stood up and just let myself be impulsive. I layed down beside him, on my side, my head on his chest, my arm around his torso. 

'I'll miss you...' was all I could say to him. I couldn't recognize the feelings as I didn't know if I even felt the same about him or if it was just the feeling of safety that made me so close to him. We layed there, Niall stroking my hair, my fingers drawing rounds on his side. Adventually we fell asleep.