Say you'll remember me

54. Survive

Natasha woke up when she felt something thrashing beside her.

She rolled over and quickly jumped up when she saw James.

He was sweating while thrashing around under the covers.

His chest was rising with his every sharp, drastic breath he was taking.

He was having a nightmare.

"James", Natasha tried to wake him.

There was no response.

Natasha then placed both her hands on his shoulders and shook him.

"James, wake up!" She spoke loudly this time.

James suddenly sat up, gasping deeply for breath.

Natasha first felt relief but was shocked suddenly when James grabbed both her wrists.

He was looking her angrily, still trying to catch his breath through a clenched jaw.

He didn't know who he was.

He didn't know where he was.

"James", Natasha tried softly talking to him.

There was no reply.

"It's me, Natasha", she spoke again.

She saw his eyes flicker slightly this time.

"It's Natalia", she whispered.

James's eyes suddenly softened before he quickly released Natasha.

He instantly began apologising.

"Nat, I'm so so sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you", he began.

He was still sweating and his hands were now shaking as tears began to form in his eyes.

Natasha moved across the bed so she was sat directly in front of him.

She placed her hand on his cheek before speaking.

"Don't apologise, it's not your fault, you didn't hurt me", she promised.

She kissed a path of gentle kisses down his neck as he slowly caught his breath.

"I...I didn't mean to", James began again.

However, before he began blaming himself again, Natasha leaned in to kiss his lips.

The kiss somehow managed to bring James back to her, he caught his breath and calmed down slightly.

When their lips parted, James didn't let go of her, instead he pulled her closer.

She was practically sat on his lap.

They were quiet for a few seconds then.

Natasha gave James time to talk, which he eventually did.

"It was a memory", he said referring to the dream.

"I didn't remember until now", he said quietly before looking at Natasha.

"Hydra", he said.

Natasha closed her eyes and lent into James's chest.

"I remember how they caught me, tortured me, used me", he began.

Natasha held onto him tighter.

It reminded her of her own experiences in Red Room.

As if James could read her mind he suddenly spoke.

"Do you remember Red Room?" He asked.

Natasha breathed deeply before answering.

"Most of it, some of it is blurry from where I was frozen, but I think I remember most of it". She paused for a few seconds before continuing.

"I remember that it was all bad, other than you, you're the only good thing I had", she whispered.

James kissed her forehead.

Although they had been apart for so long, they were here together now.

Somehow that made everything okay.

Somehow it made them believe they could survive.