The Larry Diaries

No Choice.

Love is not a choice,
and eventuly everyone learns that.
Because you either end up alon realising you cannot force love,
or you end up starring at the stars realising you didn't ask for it.

Whether you want to fall in love or not,
it is never up to you.

You yelled to him the hatred you pretended to feel,
but it never saved you,
From the burning fire,
within every inch of your body,
that told you
you loved him.

Your father left because he said your love was wrong,
but he left not only you,
but the woman he thought he loved.

And it is the truth that he never lvoed her.
Becauuse love isn't temporary,

no matter how much you try to convince yourself,

that one day you will be free,
from the flame.

You are wrong,
and you will realise it one morning
as you lie in an empty bed,

that the fire didn't leave with him.
The fire stayed until it burnt you alive.

And it left you as ash on your own world.
It isn't a choice.
It wasn't forced.
You loved him because it was real.
Because it was right.

That is why you ran back to his house,
your head was blurred,
not by sadness
not by regret
but by love.

And you will know you love him
when you cannot look in a mirror,
beecause you are no longer a whole.
You try to speak that you don't regret letting him go.

But instead the tears come out.
The water you wished had burned out the flme.

But loving isn't wishing and it never will be.
It wasn't a choice that you met him.

It wasn't a choice that you ran back to his house
and it wasn't his choice whether or not to take you back.

YOU LOVE HIM

and you look aat him and say 5 words.
"It was never a choice"

That is when your head is unblurred

and the fire is burning but in controll
and that is when you realise the stories you will tell your children.

THe lesson you learned from trying to let go.