Beast [Irregular at Magic High School fanfic] (Boyxboy)

Chapter 4

That night, I lay silently in bed, thinking.

What if something slipped past me? And then if someone got hurt because of that? I wouldn't be able to face anyone if that happened. Not the new people I've met, not my siblings, not even myself.

I hate when people get hurt because of me. In my opinion, I'm not worth it. I'm not worthless, but I'd rather be a beast who everyone hated than a person who everyone sacrificed themselves for. It irks me when Sis stands up for me against our stepmother. I always want to put a hand over her mouth and just take the verbal blows. Words do not hurt me. Unless they are words from my Brother's own mouth.

I am inhuman because I wish to be. After seeing the result of Brother's operation and the conditioning of my sister, I begged our aunt to make me into something that no longer mattered. It took a lot of convincing, and now here I am. I barely survived the process. Sis had been furious with me, but the entire time, I just smiled. From that point on, her words never really... moved me.

Moving, huh? I bet bear-man could probably move a truck if he wanted to. I like him. And that other guy... Leo? I like him too.

I like a lot of things.

>>>>>>>

The next morning was the same as before. Go to the station, switch to a mouse, and spend the day in Brother's pocket. This time, I made it well past lunch before the strain began. After school, Brother went outside, to a quiet place, and sat on a bench. He pulled me out of his pocket, and I squeaked tiredly at him. He smiled a little, just as I heard footsteps. From around the corner, bear-man appeared, clearly looking for Brother.

He seemed surprised as he walked over, Brother watching him.

"I hadn't expected you to be the kind of person to like mice, Shiba."

"I don't, really. But this is the form he chose to take."

"He?"

Wait a minute. Why are you telling him this?! Oh. Right. He trusts these people. He trusts them for their silence.

"My familiar."

"As in a being that represents your inner thoughts?"

"Yes, in a sense."

Brother sets me down on the ground. From down here, he and bear-man look absolutely ginormous. I squeak a bit, ears and nose twitching as I stand up on my hind feet. Bear-man seems just a little disturbed, but it quickly passes.

"Do you bring him to school every day?"

"No, only recently have we started.."

"I'm assuming I'm the only one who knows about this?"

"You are. He is good at secret-keeping. He won't speak of it to anyone. Or rather, squeak."

If I could, I'd be glaring at him right now. Besides, I'm tired. Can I be human now?

"I see. Can I hold him? I've never really held a mouse before. It seems interesting."

Brother seems a bit surprised, but he picks me up anyways, holding me out to bear-man. I sniff a bit, deciding I like the way bear-man smells. I move to sit in bear-man's hand, sitting back on my hind legs and squeaking the equivalent to 'don't drop me'. He eyes me curiously.

"He does look a bit like you."

"I don't really think I look like a mouse..."

"Not like that. His eyes. They're almost the same color. And his fur is the color of your hair."

"I never really noticed it before."

Umm, really? Wow, somebody's blind. Blind as a- oh wait, that doesn't really work. Bear-man hands me back to Brother with a gentleness I hadn't expected. He gets up to leave, then looks at Brother.

"Thank you. Also, send my regards to your brother. He's been accepted by the rule makers as an official member of our team. Of course, that means the other schools will have one too. However... I doubt they'll be able to find one of the same caliber."

"I will tell him that. And about my familiar, you can hold him anytime."

"I see. Until next time, Shiba."

Bear-man leaves, and I turn to look at Brother quizzically. He raises an eyebrow at me, but I can tell he knows what I'm thinking.

"It would be a bit strange if I hadn't let him hold you. Besides, you looked at home in his hand."

'At home'? Excuse me, but I'm your familiar, albeit constructed from your former emotions and placed in the body of your little brother who's consciousness merged with the familiar. Brother, you are so strange sometimes. But I guess I am to, since I am both sibling and creation.

Sensing my irritation, he gently ran a finger from my head down to my mid-back. It was a calming gesture, and my annoyance quickly faded. Back into the pocket I went, and the day resumed.

>>>>>>

Once we were home, Brother put me on the ground, and I released the magic. Restored to my original self, I sighed, sinking to my knees. The effort it took to keep the spell going was a mental strain on its own, not to mention all the people I was slowly beginning to memorize.

Brother ruffled my hair while Sis went to grab an ice pack. I got up, Brother going to his room to change. When Sis came back, I took the ice pack with a small thank you and went to my own room. I flopped down on my bed, putting the ice pack on my forehead. Well, it wasn't really a bed. It was a sort of cryogenic pod, usually used to keep experiments in a state of limbo. Mine had been severed from the actual machine and delivered here. I had woken up here, and I plan to die here. Quietly, slipping into a deep sleep from which I would never wake. It sounded nice.

But for now, I just napped.