Poems of a Suicidal Memory

In Remembrence of You

I remember the last words that you said to me.
When I said that we were never meant to be.
You said you'd never leave me for another guy,
but then you left me for the sky.
Now I'm laying, I'm crying, I'm wondering why,
why did you leave me without a goodbye?
The memories of you shake me to my core,
I wish I could've done something more.
I should've stayed by your side,
maybe then you wouldn't have died.
I remember what you used to say,
it still confuses me to this day.
You'd look, your confidence would start to stir.
You'd say, "I wish I was beautiful like her".
Darling, you lit up the night like a star.
Now I can see that a star is what you are.
I know you're looking down on me,
my life, you will oversee.
Now, my life, no matter what I go through,
I will live in remembrance of you.
But it's hard to be here without you,
I simply don't know what to do.
All of my smiles are just a cloak,
I try not to breathe because whenever I breathe, I choke.
Your life made mine worth living.
Now that you're gone, my life, I'm giving.
But I know I can't give in,
somehow I just have to win.
I can't take my life away,
cause it's to you I pray,
I think about you everyday.
What can I do when all I do is cry?
But somehow I know that I can't just die.
It's not something that I can just do,
because I live in remembrance of you.
You're the epitome of innocence,
the definition of eloquence.
I'd never stain your name,
that's not my aim.
But these memories are drowning,
with these shots of depression I'm downing.
These memories won't just quit,
they do help a little bit.
I used to sleep with your stuffed toy,
it brought me joy.
I remember it was a fluffy moose.
Now all I have to sleep with is your noose.
My life is a lighter,
tie it a little tighter.
A gust of air,
you've heard my prayer,
I'm dead.
The rope is wrapped beneath my head.
I won't make it through the night,
so I need your help to fight.
I need your help to drop this knife,
I need your help to live my life.
For you, I will cut myself loose,
for you, I will toss this noose.
Because there is nothing I wouldn't do,
cause I live in remembrance of you.
I'm sorry for when I faltered,
my life, you have altered.
From now on, I will never fail,
depression will try, to no avail.
You were everything to me,
I'm what you want me to be.
I will live for me and for you too,
I will live in remembrance of you.