Trust the stars (Reylo fanfiction) #TheWattys2016

Torn apart

Kylo ren's POV:

I was searching everywhere for her. Some of the rooms and floors were checked even three times. I was beginning to get anxious for her wellbeing. She is the only chance to make things right, and I desperately need to find her, at any cost. I walked down the stairs and went to the bridge to look for her on the other side, when I heard a voice I hadn't heard in a very long time.

"Ben!" He said. It was the voice of my father. I stopped, chills running down my spine. Chills that brought back old memories of the past. The memories I longed to return to, the time when I was happy and passionate, when I believed that I had a good future to look forward to, and now when I think of it, I understand it was destroyed like a card castle. I turned. It was too risky for him to see me, it was too hard, for his own good.

"Remove that mask Ben, you don't need it anymore." My heart was pumping faster than ever, longing to see his face again, to be his son, but I need to act, to put on a good show and impress everyone here that sold themselves to the dark side.

"What do you expect to see?" I asked, carefully choosing my words, and swallowing hard, already knowing the answer.

"My son." He confidently said, but the pain was obvious in his eyes, I couldn't even stand looking him directly without my mask, my emotions will be too obvious, and I couldn't resist him either, so I slowly took my mask off, and tossed it on the bridge. Oh, how much I wanted to throw it like that and leave it forever behind me, like it never even existed. The only thing that held me back was the reality and its misery that came with her.

"Your son is dead, I killed him long ago." I hurt him now, his jaw started to shake in sadness and despair. You need to kill him! The echo from the conversation with Snoke haunted me. He wanted me to make the ultimate choice that he know I wouldn't be capable of, it was too much for me, he knows I am too weak to do such a ghastly thing.

"No he is alive!" That is true, but Snoke is killing him with every single choice he gives him. I looked up, there on the balcony she stood next to that escaped stormtrooper waiting for what is going to happen next.

"I want to be free from this pain that lives inside me, I am being torn apart." That was the truth, every single word I meant with all my heart, from deep inside me.

"Will you help me?" I asked on the verge of tears, don't believing what I have to do to make this plan work, but if she sees, she will never be my ally, in her eyes I will be the creature that killed his own father just to stay on the dark side, and everything will fail.

"Yes, anything." This was the moment, to be or not to be. What was worse from the two? , What will wreck my plan more? Just when I was giving him my lightsaber I did the unexpected, the thing that even in my wildest nightmares I wouldn't think of, I activated it. Hot red light stormed from inside and killed him. He just touched my face for the last time, surprise in his eyes and fell down. I failed him, I failed all my loved ones, the only people that still had trust in me so I can defeat Snoke, but the only thing I never realized was that I was slowly becoming what he wanted, a monster. Screams were heard from everywhere, but the loudest was hers, the only scream that made me want to fall on the floor and cry myself out in misery and despair. Suddenly I heard a blaster noise and felt a pain rising in my abdomen. I was hit, and I deserved it, I confess that. I looked up again and saw the two running away as far as possible. I need to finish what I started and went to follow them into the forest.

I found them pretty fast. They tried to escape, but couldn't I was too close. And that was when the greatest fight started, between me, the traitor and Rey.

"You need a teacher" I said to her, looking directly at her eyes while our lightsabers were crossed and blue and red light coated our white faces. She stooped and closed her eyes. She reacted like a real Jedi not even knowing it. I knew she will never say yes, not after this, but I will try as many times as possible to assure her of my plan and my real intentions. It will be not easy, but I believe she will understand, one day. She didn't say anything, just continued to fight me, even burned my face in half, just before the ground started crumbling and she ran away. The last thing I saw was a figure approaching me and then everything went blur. Darkness covered me again.