Following Her Heart (CURRENTLY EDITING)

Chapter 17

I FINALLY RETURNED BACK TO THE HOUSE AFTER CRYING FOR WHAT FELT LIKE DAYS.

I immediately called Ana-I couldn't take the feeling of guilt inside of me. I had to talk to Ana.

I called and told her about the latest text message, and crying, I begged for Ana's forgiveness.

"Hannah, I already forgave you. When you came back to me weeks ago and apologized, I had already forgiven you. I love you, Hannah, all you did was make some mistakes. I could have done it too."

"Ana, thank you so very much. But I feel like the mistakes I have made, and what I have caused-may be unforgiveable. You're being bullied terribly now because of it."

"Hannah, if you don't feel better, and forgive yourself, you will be in trouble with me," Ana said with a ring of teasing in her voice. "At this point, it needs to not be about other people forgiving you, they already have for the little wrong you have done. Now, you need to forgive yourself for your mistakes."

"Alright, I will try, I just feel like I don't deserve forgiveness, I feel just like a bully for not being there and sticking up for you," I said, although talking to Ana had made me feel a little better already. Dear God, thank you so much for a friend like Ana! I don't know what I'd do without her right now.

"Hannah, look.You aren't bullying me, its Amanda and her friend," she pointed out. "You may have been oblivious or not caring or realizing at the time to her bullying me, but you never participated in it. Forgive yourself, Hannah. You've not done nearly any wrong with what you are accusing yourself of. I love you, Hannah. Don't worry, I have forgiven you, and I am sure God has."

" Thank you, Ana." I paused. That old terrible feeling of regret still came back though. "I just don't know-"

"Hannah, I'm serious. Stop, and forgive yourself. I have, God certainly has. Please." She sighed softly. "Would you like to pray together?"

"Yes, that would be wonderful," I choked.

"Dear Lord,"  Ana led, "Hannah has made some small mistakes in her life, but feels like forgiveness is something she cannot receive or deserve. Please let her know that she is forgiven, andd that she needs to feel better about herself, because she is beautiful and very loved. We love you, Jesus, please bless Hannah and shower her with Your wonderful Love."

"Thank you Ana!" I said, with the tears starting to come down my cheeks. "I don't know what I'd do without you!" I sniffed.

"Hannah, I love you with all my heart, and no matter what happens, you'll always be my best friend. Its you I have to thank. I came from France so scared, and you befriended me right away. I realize you had some transitions in your life, but you came back. We'll always be friends, I promise you. Its you I have to thank. And as long as its fine with you, we can always be best friends if you'd like to. I know you're my best friend in my heart, at least."

"Yes, Ana, yes! You are my best friend, too, without you, I'm not sure how my life right now would have turned out."

I was so, so happy to hear that Ana, despite what I had done, must have really forgiven me. And she still wanted to be best friends! I finally felt some peace, and a little better about myself and my past mistakes. We both agreed to meet at the mall for some best friend time tomorrow evening.

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The next day, after my seventh period and last class of the day ended, I headed to Mrs. Hart's French classroom for a French Club meeting. I decided to join French Club after all, even though I was quite busy with everything else I had going on. It was worth it, I loved French class and learning about French Club, although honestly, French was probably my hardest class in school besides World History, I still loved it. Plus Ana would be there too, which would make it probably the best club I could join.