Following Her Heart (CURRENTLY EDITING)

Chapter 16

OH NO.

I looked at my phone. It had a pink glittery case on it. It used to be a fun thing and item I owned and enjoyed using. Now I shuddered, because I didn't know what terrible thing would be said on a message I had to read. I almost wanted to get rid of the cell phone I had begged my parents for only months before.

I turned it on. From anonymous. How did they manage to make their messages from anonymous, no ID?  Whoever did this was good with technology.

Should I tap that screen? Reveal whatever would be said there? If I never did though, I'd always wonder what had been said in that message.

So I tapped the button to open up the message.

It was a mistake to do that.

Hey, oh, do I have the wrong number to text here. Oh no-this is Hannah Alynsworth here right??

Oh, thought so. Great. Well, I just wanted to have a little chat with you. How are you? How's the new loser girl of Thomas Edison? And her weirdo bestie? What's her name? Lanna? Oh, wait, no, Ana. The new freak number two.

Isn't that cute? Hannah and Ana, the two besties who stick by each other. Kinda super ridicoulous if you ask me. You two need to grow up. Acting like that-so immature, like you're both in kindergarden on the first day of school and you need to stick together like BFF's. Well, let me tell you. There's no such thing as BFF's in the world. Loyal, kind, unselfish best friends. You're prove of that. You let Ana get bullied for weeks, then you supposedly came back to your "Christian" senses for her.

The only real BFF's in the world is me and Amanda. Forever and us, only. You two are smart loser, geeky nerds in school who have nothing better to do than be priggish people who are the ones who get the A's in class. You guys seriously suck!

Well, gtg weirdo. Ttyl! ;)

A.H.&F

Tears formed in my eyes. They trickled down my cheek, as I tried to control the terrible feeling of loneliness and depression welling up, once again, as it has been for weeks whenever I got a text from that mysterious friend of Amanda's. Why did whoever it was keep sending these texts hate me? What was the matter with me? Was I that terrible? Had my suspicions had been right all along? Ana, I thought, had forgiven me for what I did. My parents for my rebellious streak. Danny. But Danny must think I am a terrible person, and that's why he acted so weird today.

I had been right all along, that guilty terrible feeling deep inside. Even if the text sent by this person was mean, they were true.

I can't really be forgiven for being such a terrible friend and so selfish as I have been. There will never be forgiveness in my life. Ana must seriously dislike, if not hate me. Same with Danny, same with my parents.

I ran. Out of my room, up the basement stairs, out the back door. I ran, not even knowing where I was going.

I ran down our street, and couldn't and wouldn't stop. I could not take it anymore. Why? No one in the world must love me right now. Those texts are true about me. I am a loser, and a freak. The weirdo of school.

God, please help me! Do you still love your prodigal daughter now? Have I done too much to be forgiven by you, O Lord??

I ran all the way to the neighborhood park, ran and sat in a secluded spot and under a tree, and crawled into a ball and cried for what seemed like forever. It was cold and even started to snow, but I barely even noticed in my regret and loneliness, hugging my knees in my worn grey hoodie in the swirling snowflakes.

No one will ever, ever, like me, Hannah Alynsworth. I am not worthy of being forgiven. And I must be a terrible person. I must be ugly. Unattractive in every way. I have nobody who must like me for who I am.

These thoughts ran through my mind again and again, and with each time I thought about them, I realized they must be true. Why would I be bullied unless I was really a despicable person who was unattractive to everyone?

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Okay, this chapter is definitely dramatic and kinda sad. Hopefully I am not going too far for you guys with all the drama, but it will all be coming together in the next few chapters ;D Let me know what you think of Hannah, the bullying, and the whole chapter by commenting! :) If you enjoyed this chapter, I hope you can vote too :)