The Marauders: Year One | #Wattys2016

Found Out

Found Out


"We are never - ever - going to finish this bloody map!" wailed Sirius two nights after the boys' close-call with Lily in the common room. It was more than midway through January and, despite the fact that they'd had use of the invisibility cloak – thanks to James's dad – for over two weeks, they'd still not finished the map. Sirius threw himself onto his bed and sprawled across it, legs and arms out like a giant starfish, "My life's ambition – never to be fully realized --"

"Mapping Hogwarts is your life's ambition?" James asked, opening the drawer of his night stand and pulling out the snitch Sirius had stolen from the changing rooms down by the pitch and polishing it off with the edge of his robes. He raised his eyebrow at Sirius.

"It'll get finished," Remus said patiently. He was carefully folding the parchment they were using for the map, "It's just going to take some time, that's all. Rome wasn't built in a day."

"You could hardly compare our map to Rome," Peter said.

"That's right," agreed Sirius, sitting up, "Our map is far more important."

"Than Rome?" demanded James with a chuckle, "You're mad."

Sirius mimed being stabbed in the heart. "You've killed me, Potter," he said, "Killed me with your careless attitude." He threw himself backwards onto the mattress again and pretended to writhe, as though under great sufferage.

James rolled his eyes, "You're the most dramatic person I've ever known," he declared.

The map, despite Sirius's complaints, was actually coming along quite nicely. The boys had worked tediously in adding new information to it, and there had turned out to be far more corridors and classrooms on the fourth floor than they'd expected and it had held them up. That and James's eagerness to follow Filch or Mrs. Norris whenever they spotted them 'round the castle in hopes that Filch might use one of the secret passage ways, but they'd only discovered a hidden hallway that connected as a short cut from one corridor to the other in the Transfiguration wing that way.

Sirius was simply getting anxious, and not only over the map, but also over the nearing of the full moon, keeping watch on Remus, and waiting to have his werewolf theory confirmed. Ever since he'd had his talk with James, Sirius had been counting the days down until the next full moon on January 28.

"He looks tired, all the time, have you noticed?" he whispered to James one evening as Remus excused himself from their little study group by the fire to go to bed.

James, still holding out on Sirius's theory, shrugged, "Dunno mate, maybe he's just working too hard."

"But, look, he's leaving homework unfinished," Sirius argued, "That's not like him."

James shrugged, "Leaving homework undone isn't exactly a textbook definition on identifying a werewolf, though, is it?"

But even James could not deny that Remus's face was paler and his personality more withdrawn by the evening of the 27th. Nobody could have. Remus was barely talking, and on the morning of the 28th, as they went for breakfast, he looked downright ill. They sat at the Gryffindor table, on the long benches, and Remus rested his cheek against his forearm, leaning against the table.

"Aren't you going to eat?" asked Peter, waving a bit of scone and marmalade at Remus's nose.

"I'm not hungry," mumbled Remus.

Sirius carefully poured tea and pushed it in front of Remus. "Here mate," he said, "I stirred in some honey to perk you up a bit."

Remus wrapped his palms around the cup for its warmth. "Thanks, Sirius," he muttered, and he leaned close, breathing the heat of the cup.

Sirius looked at James with a raised eyebrow. James looked nervously down at his toast. Sirius turned back to Remus, "Are you, uh, going anywhere tonight?" Sirius asked as casually as he could manage.

Remus looked up.

Peter was stuffing his face with a bowl of fruit chunks and the crunching of the fruit in his teeth seemed rather loud suddenly as the Remus stared across the table at Sirius.

"It's just that this is usually about the time of the month that you go home or - er - wherever it is you go," explained Sirius.

Remus clearly didn't know what to say in reply and silence stretched between them, the two boys staring at each other across the house table. As the moments passed the silence grew heavier and James and Peter glanced between Sirius and Remus expectantly.

Unable to take the weight of it any longer, James suddenly cut in rather loudly, "what if we used that tap dancing spell we leaned in charms on the dinner plates? Huh? Picture everyone's faces!"

Sirius looked at James, and, the stare-down broken, Remus took the opportunity to avoid answering the question and quickly dove under the table for his book bag. "Speaking of Charms, I've still got a spot of homework. I'll see you." He leaped from the table and rushed out of the hall before any of them could say another word.

"Good one, James," said Sirius, frowning after Remus's retreating back.

"What was that about?" Peter asked, confused.

James shrugged, "He didn't look happy about you asking."

"Guys? What was that all about?" Peter asked again.

"You know, I have a spot of homework too," Sirius declared, snarfing down the last of his breakfast and rushing off after Remus, ignoring the anxious look on James's face as he ran out of the Hall after him.

"Just please be careful about it, will you?" James called.

"Careful about homework?" asked Peter, looking at James, "What's he got to be careful of homework for?"

James shrugged and went back to eating his breakfast.

Sirius wasn't sure what he was planning on saying or doing, but he knew he needed to talk to Remus and get everything out in the open. He didn't like having secrets, didn't like the feeling that maybe Remus needed somebody to unload upon. He remembered how horrible he had felt since last summer, keeping locked up in his head all the dreadful things about his Mother and Father and how great it had felt confessing it all to James. Remus needed that, too, Sirius reckoned and he wanted to be the one to be there for him. He just didn't know how to go about doing it.

Remus was halfway up the staircase when Sirius caught up, quite breathless. He glanced over at Sirius and felt quite anxious about his pursuit. Remus balled his fists and continued walking without greeting him. Sirius followed along at his side. They were halfway up to Gryffindor Tower before Sirius said, in a casual tone, "Full moon tonight."

Remus stopped dead in his tracks and stared at Sirius. "So?" he asked in, what he hoped anyway, was a nonchalant voice.

"I know," whispered Sirius.

Remus's eyes widened and he looked up and down the corridor, a panic spreading through him like he was being engulfed in flames. Quickly, he lunged forward and grabbed Sirius by the arm and, though he was much smaller and weaker than Sirius, pulled him into an empty classroom along the corridor, kicking the door shut behind him. "Who told you?" he demanded.

Sirius shook his head, "Nobody! I figured it out."

Remus looked even paler than he had done in the Great Hall, if that was possible. He paced, nervousness radiating off him. Sirius watched him walk, wringing his hands and muttering to himself softly. "What am I gonna do, what am I gonna do..."

Sirius said, "I just wanted you to know that I'm --"

Remus whirled around. "Please," he begged thickly, "Sirius, please, don't tell anybody else. I can't go back to not having any friends, or any future, I can't. I'll go mad and -"

"Well I already told --"

"NO!" Remus looked quite devastated.

"-- James," finished Sirius. Then, in a rush, "Only because I wanted a second opinion! I didn't want to accuse you and be wrong and anyways James is alright, mate, and so'm I! We aren't going to tell anybody else! We just didn't want you to have to go on hiding everything from us! We're your mates, Remus! This isn't something you should have to go at alone!"

Remus was frozen in place, his wide, pleading eyes searching Sirius for any sign of betrayal, but there was none. Sirius's eyes were utterly sincere. Remus trembled. He was terrified - more now than he had ever been in his life. A great part of him wanted to deny it, to make up an excuse, any excuse he could, and keep it secret. But he knew there was no excuse that could undo the knowledge Sirius had now. There was nothing he could do to keep Sirius from confirming his theory every month at the full moon, nothing he could do to hide it any longer. He felt cold and hot all over at once. He stared at Sirius with a terrified look on his face.

Sirius's voice lowered. "Remus, we don't give a damn if you're a - a werewolf, okay?"

Remus's voice shook, "Of course you give a damn if I am," he said.

"We don't," Sirius replied, "Just as much as you don't give a damn that I'm a pureblood or any of that. It's just - just a label. It doesn't matter what you are, it's who you are we care about."

Remus looked down at his trainers, "That's because you've never seen it - what I become."

"I wouldn't give a damn even if I did," Sirius argued.

"You would, though," Remus shook his head, "Even my parents give a damn then."

Sirius sighed, "Remus, we aren't your parents, or anyone else that's judged you for it before. You can talk to us, mate, we're here for you. Really. I mean it. We want to - to support you."

Remus turned away.

Silence filled the classroom and outside they could hear students in the corridors, headed back from lunch. Sirius took a step toward Remus, "If you wanna talk --"

"I don't," answered Remus, and he hurried from the room.