The Marauders: Year One | #Wattys2016

Utter Bullocks

Utter Bullocks

"Oi, how come she'll hold a normal conversation with you, but hexes my bogeys into attack-bats?" James complained in a whisper as Professor Binns droned on and on about Uric the Oddball at the front of the room.

"Maybe because you oggle her every time she comes within twenty yards of you?" Sirius teased, nudging James in the side.

"Girls like to be oggled," James said with a shrug. "Especially by boys like me."

Sirius snickered under his breath, "Oh - and - hang on, that's right, too, she thinks you're rather full of yourself. Dunno where she got an idea like that..." He grinned.

Later, after Transfiguration and lunch, the boys were in the common room, waiting for Remus to come back from the Shrieking Shack. James and Sirius were playing Exploding Snap while Peter fretted about over the reading Binns had assigned, when the portrait hole burst open and Derek Bell came through, mad as a hornet. He was followed by a rather exhausted, but resignedly frustrated Bilius Weasley.

"And another thing --" Derek said, voice loud, obviously continuing a conversation they'd been holding in the hallway, "-- I bloody didn't do anything at all, except keep him there to be caught! It's utter bullocks!"

"I know that, mate, but I don't call the shots 'round here," Bilius said with a shrug. He sighed, "If I did, Malfoy would be on the next train back to his manor, you know that."

Sirius looked up from the game. "What happened?" He asked.

"Welcome back, Bil," added James.

"Thanks," Bilius replied, "And nothing happened we didn't half expect anyway."

"Malfoy managed to make it sound like we tried to curse him first and that he was acting in self defense when he blasted Bilius across the whole bloody hall!" Derek shouted. "Lying sack of beetle dung he is."

Sirius said, "But, you didn't curse him at all, did you?"

"Didn't even try!" Bilius replied. "Couldn't have done, I had my back turned when he attacked me."

Sirius looked outraged, "That's ridiculous! How could Dumbledore not have known better? And you had loads of witnesses, why don't you tell Dumbledore to ask them about it?"

"I mentioned it," Derek fumed, "But Malfoy pointed out all the witnesses around us were Gryffindor team mates and seeing as we're captain and prefect of the house, they're likely to say we were innocent even if we weren't."

'But you are!" James exclaimed.

"Tell it to Dumbledore and Moody," said Derek. He sighed, "I'm going to take a nap, I'm quite fed up right now." Without further adieu, he turned and left the room and a moment later they heard the dorm room door slam behind him.

Bilius sighed, "I dunno. Everyone's gone mental 'round this place lately." He walked over and sat down in one of the big overstuffed chairs by the fire. "I'm ruddy tired of Malfoy and his shenanigans. It's been six years of this!" He rubbed his forehead. "Malfoy hates our whole family. He was like this toward my brother, Arthur, too. Moment he saw me come through the door he started in on me. I'll never forget it, he sneered at me while I was gettin' sorted, you know, and later when we were going off to the common rooms, in the entrance hall, said loud enough he was shocked our family could afford two sets of robes for me and my brother, started mocking us because we aren't rich like his family is. Galleons are worthless when your soul's so bloody awful." Bilius frowned at his hands. "I wouldn't want to be rich, if the gold makes you act like that."

"The Malfoys are dark all the way through," Sirius offered, "He's my cousin and he hates me just as much. Says I'm a muggle lover."

Bilius rolled his eyes, "I hate pureblood thinking!"

"It's stupid," agreed James.

Bilius said, "Malfoy's the worst of them all. He's a sneaky, instigating liar. You know, he told Moody and Dumbledore that he had reason to believe that Derek and I had snuck down to the Slytherin common room, broke in, and stolen some personal items from his dorm? It's impossible! I couldn't have got into the bloody Slytherin common room - nobody can unless they're a sneaky little rat -- a Slytherin, that is."

James looked 'round at Sirius and Peter nervously. "No?"

"No, of course not," Bilius explained, "The door's bewitched, you can't even touch the handle unless you.re up to no good."

Peter's cheeks turned pink. "That can't be. How would a doorknob know?"

"Like I said, it's bewitched," Bilius said with a shrug, "I dunno how it works, but it's been there old as the houses. Salazar Slytherin set it up 'round about the same time he created the supposed Chamber of Secrets. It's all part of Hogwarts lore and legend, you know."

Peter looked down at his history book quickly.

"Anyway, I'm going to go up to bed, too," Bilius said, wincing as he stood up. "Pomfrey's brilliant but I'm still sore. Plus now I've apparently got detention to serve... Derek's so angry because it's going to mess with the Gryffindor Quidditch practice." He sighed and shook his head. "I don't blame Derek for being frustrated. He really didn't do anything at all." Bilius's eyes twinkled. "I'm not going to lie, I did sort of egg Malfoy on." He grinned and ducked away, heading off to the stairs up to the dorms.

Sirius turned to look at the other two. "Blimey," he whispered.

James nodded to Sirius, then turned to Peter. "So how come you could open the Slytherin door anyway?"

Peter shrugged, "I dunno. I didn't think on it. Maybe because we were all up to no good when we were sneaking around down there, both times. I reckon if I went back without ill intentions I wouldn't be able to. Course why would I ever be there without ill intentions?"

James accepted that answer and turned back to the Exploding Snap game, rubbing his chin. "So how do we get Bilius out of trouble, then?" He asked.

Sirius sighed, "I dunno. I've been wrecking my brains trying to come up with an idea, but I haven't got it yet." He watched James make a move, but was too distracted now himself to continue playing. "Oi let's call it a draw, mate," he said, leaning back.

James agreed, since he was losing anyway, and swept the pieces away into the velvet bag they came in and tossed it into his book bag.

Remus returned late that evening, after supper, and the boys filled him in on everything that had gone on since he'd been gone while he ate the food that Peter had gone down to the kitchens to nick for him. Remus stared timidly at the mirror when the boys pulled it out of the depths of Sirius's trunk to show it to him and he asked, in a whisper, "Think he can hear us?"

"Dunno," Sirius replied. "I hadn't thought of that."

They stowed the mirror away quickly after that.

Spring was coming and the snow on the grounds around the castle started melting, dripping against the window pane and making Sirius think of the clicking of Adolf's beak against the glass, reminding him of how much he was dreading the end of term coming. Surely he would pay for what he'd done, and he was afraid of how long the summer seemed with the prospect of spending it all at Number 12 Grimmauld Place.

He still hadn't figured out a way to clear Bilius Weasley, either, without giving himself away. Part of him wondered if he ought not to just come clean completely and rely on Dumbledore and Moody to protect him, like they'd originally planned. Maybe Lily Evans had been right and telling Dumbledore about the way his family treated him would be for the best... But even thinking of it made his stomach ache something awful. Where would he go after term ended? Surely he couldn't spend summer at Hogwarts - he'd never heard of anyone who had. He didn't have any family that would take him in - they were all just as dark as his parents. No, he decided, he had no choice but to figure out a way to make it work without admitting to having any knowledge of the mirror himself...