"Standards" -Joshler

•Seven•

Tyler had left soon enough, we'd talked, eaten, watched a movie and did the general bro stuff. But he explained why he was confused and I understood him completely

You see, Tyler didn't really believe in his God even though his family where religious and had fears of being gay. As well as his friend group where not exactly diverse like me and I guess that's why he could open up to me more. He loved his family and he'd never had problems, he just had slight anxiety and was expected to be the man as he called it.

I guess that why he was so harsh in school, because he was afraid

But he left out the me part. The part where he grabbed my hand when he first saw me, the part where he blushed immensely when I strocked his arm and also the part where he laughed when I shoved his friend. I didn't want to push him into anything but I had feelings too, and I wanted to relax. But I was worried

That's what you get for being clingy, Josh

I sat down and grabbed a piece of paper, I liked to vent write and post it to tumblr. I got support there and I felt safe so that's what I did

I'll claw away my fears
Don't dismay my tears
Depression? -Nope, cleared!
And this is what you'll hear

Fetchin compressing my doubts
But I won't say this outloud
As my voice is low and my lungs are weak
My feelings will begin to leak

But don't bust the bubble
My skin is not rubble
Humble verses written in emotion
Sorry for the commotion
But am I the only one feeling this tonne?

Sorry I'm at it again, but I promise I'm done
I'll see you later huh?
Just remember we are one

I breathed heavily leaning back, scratching my head slightly. All these emotions I couldn't handle but I did

I did

And I do

And I guess I'm proud of myself, for that. For this, for every breathe I make because I know that I'm closer to my death every minute

But I still live

Short chapter sorry babes lmao what even is that word

Fyi, they where some of my vent lyrics :))

I hope you have a good day, ily!

-Fran |-/