Tyler was so warm against my skin, maybe it wasn't him, maybe it was my heart pounding at a million miles an hour
I couldn't understand why he made me feel this way, I've never been happier. I grabbed my phone and snapped a selfie to Brendon with the caption "Idfk what just happened but /he/ is cuddling me"
I glanced down again, he was so fucking sweet. He had his face squished against my bear chest and he was snoring silently. I never could sleep so I always stayed awake
One Snapchat: Beebo
B: Dude did you fuck
J: No
J: He just found me and I was having some troubles so he took me to his house
B: Oh, that's sick anyways
J: Ye :p
A small moan escaped Tys mouth as he shuffled onto his side, eyes opening slightly
(I HAD THAT AS MOM WHY DID YOU NOT TELL ME)
"Morning" beautiful
But instead of getting a 'Morning' back, Tyler shot up and straddled my hips, connecting out lips. He gave my bottom lip a quick lick which made me gasp. Our tongues collided and my hands slid to his hips
But instead, he grabbed them and pinned them either side of me
Was he, topping me?
I'd always been the top with my old boyfriend back in America and this shocked me a little
Our lips disconnected and something had disappeared from his eyes and something else was there. I couldn't understand what
"What do you want from me" I whispered slightly, panting. My breathing was heavy and reckless, I couldn't control anything right now
Especially not Tyler
"Your love, I figured I'm defiantly not straight and... You.. How do I say it? You're better then everyone else?"
"You like me?" I inquired, it was more to reassure myself more then him
"I love you, I'm sorry for pushing you away"
Our lips meshed together again, we moved in sync, he loved me
Somebody loved me
-----------
"Joshua William Dun! I've told you numerous times that you have to learn something apart from drums! You did not take music to become some punk who bangs drums for a living! You're going to be in one of the Christian Quires and that's that! I want to see this room spotless and you doing trumpet practice! Is that clear?"
"Yes Dad"
"Good, I love you but you need to grow out of this damn phase, I'm sick of it!"
"Why can't you just accept me for who I am?"
"I'll accept you when God does! I don't want to hear anymore of it"
That was that. He had left the room leaving me and white noise
White Noise was my concious, everything inside
He was like me but had a white tint to his skin and his face was a T.V. distortion. I didn't believe him, I never have
Nobody has voices in their head like I did, he sounded like a load of news reports and old movies shoved in to make sentences
He was confusion, he was doubt, he was insecurity
He was me
Kill your self
I will
How come you haven't then
Because
Because?
Tyler
He'll leave,but you'll see him in hell
Because you're going to rot there Joshua
You're going to die
I know, everyone does
I grabbed my note book and grabbed a pen
He always helped me write
If I'm not living
Why am I still breathing?If I am so empty
Why am I so full?Is it the corrupt mind if society
Or is it the voice pleading for me to die?And I will fly, fly away
No you won't Josh,you'll rot in hellWay to ruin it
It's your fault
YOU ARE READING
"Standards" -Joshler
FanfictionFor a boy, Josh didn't meet the general standards He wasn't your typical teenager Football? Party's? Girls? Nah Music, Netflix and Guys