The Wolf Inside Me

Chapter 21

Chapter 21

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. I slowed my racing heart and opened my eyes.

With the knife in my left hand, I used my right to push on my upper left arm.

There.

A small, round shaped knot on the inside of my left forearm.

Taking the knife in my right hand, I took another deep breath. I had to do this.

I pushed the knife into my arm, just above the knot. I took a sharp breath as the pain flared up my arm.

But this was nothing. I'd been through worse.

I pushed the knife into my arm again, trying to force the foreign object out.

Blood was rushing down my arm, but I barley noticed it. I had started, now I had to finish.

I dug around with the knife, trying to remove the small object. But it was deeper in my arm. It felt like it was attached to my bone. I prayed it wasn't, otherwise.....

My legs were shaking now, and the lightheaded feeling was back. I was too thin to lose this much blood. I had to hurry.

I dug the sharp knife even further into my arm, almost crying out in pain.

Involuntary tears were streaming down my cheeks now, I could taste the saltiness. Mixed with the coppery smell of blood, it just added to my nausea.

There was a growing puddle of blood on the floor.

My breath was coming in gasps, and I knew I had to be more quite. Clay would-

"Kate?! What the hell are you-!"

Oh god, Clay was going to find out. He was going to know that-

Clay ripped the knife from my hand, and I tried to grab it back, but the blood loss was affecting me.

Clay threw the knife across the room, and grabbed a dish towel. On his way back toward me he flipped on a light, and his eyes grew wide at the growing puddle of blood beneath my feet.

I was afraid to look into his eyes, but forced myself to. His eyes were blazing with anger, but there was something else there to. Something like care. Something like love.

Clay brought over the towel, he held it against my arm, pressing it onto my wound.

I couldn't muffle the whimper of pain that escaped my lips.

"Kate, what the hell were you thinking?! You could have killed yourself!"

I cringed away from his yelling, thinking of Nathan, and his voice softened.

"Why?" He asked simply.

I knew I had to tell him now, there was

no way out of it now. But I hesitated, one explanation, and things were going to go downhill, and quickly.

Oh how I wished life were simple again. No supernatural stuff, just me. Plain old Kate. But then agin, I wouldn't have met Cla-

"Kate!" Clay yelled, bringing me from my thoughts. He grabbed my chin, pulling my gaze away from the floor, and locking it onto his eyes.

David entered the kitchen, interrupting us.

His eyes grew at the sight he saw.

"What the hell?" He asked. So much like Clay's question.

They both looked at me. Questions and concern in their eyes.

Before I could say anything, Clay asked quietly,

"Were you trying to kill yourself?"

What?! He thought.....

"No Clay, I wasn't trying to kill myself." My voice cracked, and I looked at them with pleading eyes, begging them to understand.

"Then what, Kate?" Clay asked.

David came over, removing the towel from my arm.

He sucked in a shocked breath at what I had done.

David grabbed another dish towel, and, avoiding the slippery puddle of my blood, pushed another towel against my arm.

The bleeding had slowed down, but the burning sensation was growing.

"That's going to need stitches. Kate..." David said.

I wondered briefly of Emily was still asleep, and assumed she was. Otherwise she would be here yelling at me too. So she was still asleep. Good. I hope she stayed that way. She didn't need to see this.

It was time. I took in a deep breath, trying to delay the inevitable.

In the end, it wasn't as hard as I thought. The words still hurt, but it didn't feel any different. I just had to think of them as words, with no meaning. No power against me.

"They took my wolf."