Dear Gabriel

Letter # 2

Letter #2

Monday, 2006, August 28

It’s been a nearly a week since you’ve left. 

Today was the first day of school.  It was lonely not having you there with me.  We would have had homeroom, health, algebra, and English together.  I guess your parents didn’t withdraw you from the school system because the teachers still called your name when they took attendance. 

Every time I heard your name, there was a stab inside of my chest.  I couldn’t help but feel the deep emptiness inside my heart.  It got even worst at lunch when people started to ask me about you.  How do you think it made me feel to let everyone know that I had no idea where you went.  They looked at me with pitied eyes when they saw the look in mine.  I couldn’t take it and I ran to the bathroom and silently cried in a stall.  How could you not tell your own best friend where you left?  How you could you just leave me without an explanation of why you were going?  Why didn’t you say goodbye? 

I hate not knowing.  I hate the upset feeling at the pit of my stomach that warns me that you didn’t care about me at all.  That’s what I think, Gabe.  If you did care, you would have said goodbye.  Wouldn’t you?  It was the least you could have done.  Maybe then I could accept the fact that you had to leave.

Gabe, I miss you so much it hurts.  I don’t know why and I want this pain to stop.  I’ve never lost someone before and it feels that you are dead.  There’s absolutely no trace left that I could follow.  I’d follow you until the end of the world just to see you once more.  I just want my best friend back.  I don’t feel strong anymore.  I feel weak and broken inside.  You were my other half.  How can I possibly function when half of me is missing?

Maybe your absence will get easier once the months pass by but I just can’t see it right now.  Every day I wish that you’d return.  I wish on the brightest start in the sky, yearning to have you here with me.  –Speaking about the stars, there’s a million out here tonight.  There’s a full moon and I remember the summer we were going into middle school…we laid outside in the cool grass, watching the meteor shower that night.  I asked you, “Do you think meteors are the same as shooting stars?”  “Hmm…I don’t know.  Why?  Do you want to make a wish on one?”  “Yes.”  I responded.  You just smiled at me and said, “Go for it,” and I did.  I don’t remember what I wished for but it must have been simple.

I wish you could see the stars tonight.  They are vibrant and glowing with their secret knowledge.  Wherever you are-I know that you probably see the same moon as me.  It’s a quarter full, kinda looks like a toenail or at least that is what you would have said.  I’ve always loved the moon…you know that.  You always teased me about it because you didn’t understand the beauty that I saw in it every time I lay eyes on it.  But you would have never guessed that I see the moon in you.

It’s getting late.  The street lights in the neighborhood are flickering; giving the night an eerie feel to it, which means that I should probably go to bed in case it’s a warning from the almighty.  Strange things that have been happening in the neighborhood but that’s a story for another time…

Night, Gabriel.

Sweet dreams.