Dear Gabriel

Entry # 14

Saturday, 2009, January 3

It’s a brand new year! Time for New Year’s Resolutions! I actually came up with this list a few days ago. So here it is:

1. New Year’s Kiss

2. Sneak into a Rated R movie with Tammy and Molly

3. Audition for the spring musical

4. Learn to ice skate

5. Receive a letter/call from Gabriel

The list seems easy enough.  I’ve actually already completed the first thing.  My family and I went out to Fairfield for the big New Year’s Bash they hold every year.  I saw Tammy and Kyle there and I prayed that it would be the first time they kissed at the stroke of midnight, signaling the start of the New Year. I just waved at them and continued on with my parents which I actually lost.  I wasn’t paying attention and when I turned forward they were gone.  I called them at least five times, but neither of them would answer.  I gave up after that and made my way to the place where I’d last seen Tammy and Kyle.

I knew that with my luck I wouldn’t have found them there.  They were gone and I looked aimlessly for anyone that I knew.  I found a boy from school that I distinctly remember.  He was sitting on one of the park benches eating a hotdog.  Typical.  Boys my age always seemed to be eating.  As I got closer I saw that he had two crushed wrappers at his feet – so I commented on his ill treatment of earth.

“You know there’s a trashcan three feet from you.  There’s no need to liter and kill the planet.”  That is what I said and I sat down next to him.  He was caught off guard and choked, which I found amusing.  He quickly picked up the trash around him and walked to the trash can to dispose of it.

“Have you always been a tree hugger?”  He asked.

I rolled my eyes at his comment.  Then I saw the grin on his face and said something to him, which he gave me a snarky reply to.  We bantered for what seemed like an hour until I got a name from him: Grant.  I told him my name and we shook hands and went through introductions which I found silly but cute.  I have to say that I did find him attractive after I stopped thinking that he was a jerk.

He was a jerk, but I found that it was just him being witty and sarcastic.  He was actually a pretty okay guy after talking to him for hours.  That’s how I spent my New Year’s Eve and when the countdown to midnight started in the square we joined the crowd, counting down from ten till zero where there were cheers, confetti, and kisses. 

Grant and I looked at each other and it was at that moment that he pulled me into him and kissed me with no warning.

I don’t know what I thought, but I didn’t want it to stop.  I sank into his arms and let him kiss me sweetly, tenderly.  When we pulled apart, I looked at him and felt the heat pooling in my cheeks.  His eyes were kinda glazed and there was a lazy smile on his lips which I found adorable and incredibly hot. 

So that is how I got my New Year’s kiss.  I haven’t seen Grant since that night.  School doesn’t resume until Monday and he doesn’t know where I live.  Which is good because I have no idea what I would even say to him.  I mean, what do you say to something like that?  I don’t know what I even think or feel…

Okay, fine.  I do know how I feel but does he feel the same way.  I haven’t felt that warm fuzzy feeling in my stomach for a long time and I wonder if this will be different.  Can he be the one to take me away from thoughts of Gabriel and leave them in the past?

Sigh.

I don’t think so because I still really want a call/letter from him.  But I just want to know if he’s okay.  Then maybe, I could forget him and move on.  The constant worrying about his well-being drives me insane sometimes.  I can’t help it. 

I’m such a mess.

There’s a part of me that is dreading Monday morning.  What if Grant finds me and something does start between us?  Then there is the part that is afraid that it was nothing more than just a kiss between us and he doesn’t want anything to do with me…

Okay, I need to stop my ramblings.  I need to stop reading into things.  Whatever happens, happens and that is the end of it.  Yes, that’s it.  I will stop thinking about Grant…

But how can I stop thinking about his slate blue eyes and chestnut brown hair?  I can’t.  I’ve never been kissed in that way before and it’s deeply engraved in my mind forever.  I want to be friends with him first, though.  If anything does happen between us, I want us to be friends and get to know each other.  I don’t want to jump into a relationship no matter my feelings at the moment. 

All I can do is see how things on Monday turn out.  Hopefully, all goes well.

<3

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~Author's Note~

I apologize for not uploading this sooner! I sorta forgot about it for a minute...anyways, for those who have read ED, Grant will be important :) I'm re-writing the story and it shall be a love triangle in the beginning. Make it more interesting and it'll offer a better explanation as to why things happened the way they did. I have a question for you guys though and I'd love it you'd answer. What do you think the reason for Gwen's death is? :) Just want to know if I explained it well enough :) Okay, enough of my ramblings! Thank you sooo much for your help and I'd love to hear what you thought of this chappy <3