How to Help Howell?

Part 19

Dan's POV

I woke up in my own bed, confused at first. Then it all came back. The date. The restaurant. The girl. The blades...

That's all I really remembered. There was some faint memory of Phil coming home and then going to bed, but that was all a blur.

The blades.

I felt tears welling up in my eyes. I can't believe it! After all I went through I was still alive! This made me very upset and angry. I was supposed to be dead! I deserved to be dead.

I could feel myself start to cry and didn't even try to hold it back. I didn't care if I woke up Phil.

The hot tears rolled down my face as the retched sounds of my cries escaped my lips. After just a couple minutes of just holding my head in my hands and letting the voices talk down to me got me lost in my own thoughts again. Phil woke up and pulled me into a hug. But I didn't want to be hugged. I wanted to be dead.

He quieted me down and rocked me back and forth. I didn't want to be comforted by Phil after last night, but it's so hard not to give in to his soothing nature. He owed me anyway.

After I calmed down, I pulled away and just glared at Phil.

"You, sir, owe me an explanation," I said flatly in a serious tone.

"Okay, Dan, look, I'm really sorry for what happened last night. I couldn't help myself! I just saw a pretty girl and I felt us just click," my heart sank. Was he going to leave me? I repressed the voices and insisted on listening solely to he words from Phil's mouth.

"I know I was a huge jerk to you last night, I was being extremely stupid. I got a bit distracted, that's all. I really care about you-"

"Well you have a funny way of showing it," I snapped, cutting him off.

"Dan, I swear, it will never happen again. I've learned my lesson, that girl was awful! She was only nice to me last night to play with my emotions, then she threw me aside like an old sock or something! You've got to forgive me, Dan, please!" he said more desperately.

"So...you didn't kiss her then, did you?" I asked cautiously. He hesitated. Not too long, but long enough for me to notice.

"...No." He responded firmly.

"Okay, Phil, I'm trusting you. We've grown so close  recently and I don't want to mess all that up just because you made a mistake. I can trust you from now on, right?"

"Absolutely, you have my word," he sounded enthusiastic and excited that we were back on track.

I looked at the clock. "Well, it's like 4 o'clock, what do you want to do?"

"Play video games?" He suggested. I smiled at the idea. The shape my face made as my lips pulled back felt so unnatural. It felt good to smile.

"Sims?" I asked.

"Last one to the computer is an Erika!" He shouted.

We raced to our computer and spent the afternoon playing Sims and browsing the internet together.

For the first time in what felt like forever, everything just seemed so right.