How to Help Howell?

Part 5

Dan

I woke up sometime in the night to a searing pain that seemed to be rooted to the spot behind my belly button. I realized that this was probably hunger and tried to ignore it and go back to sleep.

I had a great sleep, thanks to Phil comforting me and supporting me through my emotions and crazy hysterical bawling. It made me really glad that even through all that, I could still count on Phil to make me feel better.

After a couple minutes of trying to fall asleep, Phil eventually woke up. He looked at me with a smile and got up to stretch. I watched him, taking in every detail I could. How his arms moved, how his torso moved and the distorted face he made while he participated in his wake-up ritual.

"I'm bored. I've left you all alone for the past couple days and I owe you some "Dan time". You up for taking a walk outside?" I asked Phil. His eyes lit up as he eagerly agreed and told me to get ready, put my coat on, and meet him in the lounge when I was finished. I did all this and we started our walk to nowhere.

We just walked through  the streets of London, looking at how eerily beautiful it seemed to be at night. We walked up to a fountain and sat down for a rest. I looked up to see a beautiful night sky full of shining stars dotting the surface.

I made Phil look at this pretty sight as well and we just sat there staring at the night sky. I didn't even notice tipping over until our heads bumped into each other's. We laughed at my stupidity and I stayed close to Phil. He made me feel safer. Happier. More complete.

"I had forgotten how beautiful the sky looked at night after being inside during the nighttime for so long." I whispered to Phil.

"The sky is kind of like you, Dan," Phil whispered back. I had to laugh slightly at this.

"Why is that?"

"Not everybody sees it in the same way. And not everybody appreciates it the same as others. But it's the ones that do appreciate it that really matter," he explained, eyes still glued to the sky. I looked at him and smiled.

"What a poet, you sappy old astronomer." I teased, resting my chin on his shoulder.

He sighed. "I missed you, Dan."

"I missed you too," I responded. I really did mean it too. I didn't realize how happy I was when it was just me and Phil talking and joking around.

I closed my eyes and enjoyed the moment there until my stupid stomach had to ruin everything.

"Dan, we're stopping somewhere and I'm going to make you eat food even if I have to physically shove it down your throat." Phil stood up and announced very sternly.

"Uh, I can just grab a snack back at the flat, I'll be fine." I assured him. He refused and grabbed my hand, dragging me through the streets of London until we came to an open-for-24-hours diner. Phil and I sat on the same side of the booth with me on the inside so I could look out the window. Phil ordered me pancakes before I even got to look at the menu. But pancakes sounded pretty good at the moment.

But pancakes make you fat.

Insisted the voice. I tried my best to ignore it and just spend time with Phil. When the food came, I picked at it slightly.

All of a sudden, a big mad walked over to our table.

"You're those weirdos from YouTube, aren't you?"

"To put it nicely, yeah." Phil responded cheerily. The man narrowed his eyes at me.

"You're a lot fatter in real life," he spat and walked away.

I took a deep breath and pushed away the plate of hardly touched pancakes.

"Let's go," my voice cracked and Phil nodded his head without a word.

We walked home in silence until a sniffle came out of my nose.

"I'm sorry I'm such an embarrassment to you, Phil," I mumbled miserably. Phil stopped in his tracks. He just stared at me with his bright blue eyes. Then he hugged me really tight. I loved Phil's hugs. They make you feel so welcome and important.

"You're not an embarrassment at all, Dan." He whispered in my ear. "That man had no idea what he was talking about. I think he was drunk, actually..." Phil tried to make me feel better. But right then I didn't need to be comforted. I wanted to be comfortable in my own body, which no one could do for me.