How to Help Howell?

Part 33

Chapter 33:

Dan

I woke up with only one thought echoing throughout my entire brain. It was different from my past antagonizing voices from before. It was different. A  seemingly more rational and friendly voice. This, unknown to me at the time, would most likely make it ten times as dangerous as it would be more compelling to listen to. Anyway, this new voice was intent on one thing and one thing only.

Alcohol.

The conversation went about a little like this:

Voice: You need alcohol. Like right now.

Dan: What? Where did that come from?

Voice: Why do you think you were so groggy on the drive to the building the other day? You probably don't remember where you stopped before you head up to the roof because you drank alcohol before that.

Dan: Wait, alcohol made me want to jump off the building?!

Voice: No! Alcohol made you step down from the building. See, when the alcohol entered your life, the mean voices left. But I'm warning you, if you don't get some alcohol soon, those voices are going to come back.

Dan: Oh, okay. Are you sure? Alcohol is dangerous, no?

Voice: With a decision between voices screaming at you and making you want to kill yourself and a liquid to make all of that pain go away, which one is more dangerous, Dan?

Dan: You're right. Thank you.

I walked into the kitchen and rummaged through the fridge to the bottle of beer we keep near the back for emergencies. I grabbed eagerly at the bottle and pulled it out of the cold white box.

I removed the top from the bottle and looked down into the apparently harmless liquid. I took a sniff of the drink, smelling of, you guessed it, alcohol. It actually smelled kind of familiar and comforting. I slowly brought the bottle to my mouth. Lips slightly parted, i tilted the bottle back until-

"Dan!" I heard Phil yell.

"Yea?" I yelled back, bringing the bottle back to its upright position before anything could enter my system. I resealed the bottle and returned it to its rightful place in the fridge before Phil could ask any questions.

"I've just got some really exciting news!" he burst into the kitchen, beaming, with a happy  expression taking up his entire face.

"That's great! What is it?" I asked, Phil's smile triggering my face to break out into a big grin as well.

"Remember that guy, Matt, who's produced a couple of films in the past? Well he's making a short film and he wants me to direct it!" He announced, obviously ecstatic by this new project.

"Phil, that's amazing! I'm so proud of you!" I pulled him into a big hug, breaking apart after a few seconds to give him a peck on the cheek. This was great news for him, he's been waiting for a big project like this to come along. This could be his big break!

"Matt wants me to head over to his place to start going through the plot and pulling together a script. I'll see you later on tonight, okay?" he asked, a worried expression on his face as if he was concerned by what I might do if I was alone in the house.

"I'll be fine, Phil, you don't have to worry. I'll see you later, though?" I assured him, but wanted to confirm that he wouldn't be gone for too long.

"Of course. You're the best," he put a hand to my face and pulled me closer to him so he could leave a kiss on the side of my head. He ran to the door and grabbed his wallet and keys from the table on his way out. 

"Bye!" he yelled behind him. I waved back, and out the door he went. I ripped open the refrigerator door, grabbed the bottle once again, and didn't hesitate before tearing off the top once again and dumping the bottle's contents down my throat. Ignoring the burning sensation in the back of my throat that I was feeling, I focused instead on the release that I felt and the assurance that no voices were going to haunt me anymore.

After a few hours, I didn't exactly feel drunk, just a little...motivated. Only God knows why, but I felt the need to go to the gym and work out. A desire that I had never felt before, so I knew it must have been the beer. I noticed that I wasn't stumbling, so it was fine to head over to the gym and work out for a little bit.

It had been a couple hours since I had shown up to the gym and since then, I had used every piece of machinery in the building that I possibly could without getting killed and I was exhausted. Any alcohol that had been in my system had worn off completely after the intense workout. I schlepped back to my car and drove home drained of all energy and buzz from the previous drink. I made sure to stop by the liquor store on my way home so that I would be all set for the next day.

I collapsed on the sofa when I got home and didn't wake up until late the next morning.