How to Help Howell?

Part 34

Chapter 34:

It had been a fortnight or so since I started really drinking. It's helped me in ways that I never knew were possible. Every day I would wait for Phil to leave to work on the short film, then I would down a bottle of alcohol I bought the previous day, go to the gym, then come home completely exhausted.

I felt bad that I barely saw Phil anymore. I would always be too tired or sleeping by the time he got home. I also haven't exactly told him how I've been getting along so well without him. My new coping method might've come as a little bit of a shock to him, so I decided to keep it under wraps for a while.

So the drinking continued for a while longer. A continuous cycle that went on and on for quite a while. But, as most people do when something repeats over and over, I got bored.

It was all going okay until I decided to switch it up. On my way back from the gym, I picked up something different at the liquor store. Instead of grabbing my usual beer bottle, I dared to buy a bottle of vodka. I figured that since the beer hadn't really affected me, I'd be fine with vodka. Same thing, right? Nope.

I rolled out of bed, craving the alcoholic substance to be poured down my throat, aching for that relief that only alcohol could bring me.

I reached for the bottle in the fridge and chugged it. This burned a lot more than the beer, but I ignored it until I had downed the whole bottle. Unfortunately, I hadn't realized when I rolled out of bed the note from Phil that he wouldn't take as long with Matt today and would be home around noon. It was currently 10:30.

After drinking the vodka, I had only an hour and a half until Phil came home. And the alcohol would definitely kick in by then. I ignored the thought and strolled into the lounge. I sat down on the sofa and turned on the telly, screaming at the lady on the cooking channel until Phil walked in the door.

"NO, CASSANDRA, THAT'S NOT HOW YOU CRACK AN EGG. HOW DO YOU THINK THOSE EGGS FEEL THEY HAD A FAMILY. HOW COULD YOU!" I slurred and suddenly burst into tears.

Phil ran over to me and wrapped his long arms around me.

"Dan, what the hell happened?" he rubbed my back and tried to soothe me as I screamed bloody murder.

Once my tears subsided, I pulled away from the hug and looked into his eyes.

"Philly, therresometthink Iee needd tottell youu." Phil looked at me with an intense glare, but kept silent.

"Iee fowndout the voisess lefft bucuz I draank aaaallcohol, sso Iee keptt dreenking buut thaan I got vodkaahh insteaad of beeerr end nowwieem druunkk."

"Oh, Dan," Phil pulled me back into a hug. I liked his hugs. Phil smelled nice.

"Dan, you don't have to drink to make the voices go away, alcohol will make you sick if you drink too much of it!"

"Oh." I said quietly, only a couple words of his sentence actually making it through my brain.

"Buuutt afterr Iee draank Iee wenttothu jimmand nowaiie woontbee fatt aneeymor, sso thass gooddd, rittte?"

Tears slipped down his face as he looked at me, pure sincerity in his eyes.

"You never were fat, Dan, you're so beautiful." he booped my nose and I giggled. "You really really are. The most beautiful creature to ever walk this earth." I could hear him smiling through his words. He must really think they're true.

"How long have you been doing... this?"Phil asked quietly after a few moments of silence.

"Wenn yoo wentto Matss houus. Iee drankcup aaalll thu beeerr inthu frijand aiereully laikd ittso Aiikeppt doinkit." My head leaned back and hit the back of the couch.

"Oww." I mumbled. Phil played with my hair and twirled his fingers through the little springs of curl that started to form as I hadn't bothered to straighten it today.

"What am I to do with you, Dan?" he sighed, focused on my hair.

"Cudl?" I asked. A smile spread across his face and he nodded. He pulled me closer to him and surrounded me in his arms. I rested my head on his chest and drifted off to sleep, more comfortable than I had ever been, just glad to be back in the grasp of Phillip Lester.