Secrets of the Druids

Chapter 17 Genesis according to Catbad.

Chapter 17.

Genesis according to Catbad.

Interview with David Bowie on the Parkinson show 2002 BBC.

Bowie.- "God? The best story I ever heard about God came from Catwell."

Parkinson.-" wha? Steven Catwell? you must be joking."

Bowie. -"Yep. Our Steven 'self confessed owner of the music industry' Catwell."

Parkinson.-"He doesn't come across as been religious about anything apart from money?"

Bowie-"Back in the day he was--let's say more flamboyant and open to all religions Micheal."

Parkinson. -" Flamboyant.  I remember he made you look underdressed."

Bowie smiled. -"I did borrow his shoes now and again. Anyway. One night Me, Catwell, John Lennon and Freddie were up partying hard trying to out do each other solving the worlds problems when our chatter turned to religion. Out of nowhere this is how Catwell summed up god for us."

"In the beginning god like all of us was good."

"He created a chilled world filled with peace n love. He pleased everyone didn't get much thanks for it, but he was happy enough pleasing people."

Then the years rolled on everyone happy everything cool nothing bad ever happening a bit like middle class suburbia. God should have been happy but he found himself bored out of his tree. He would have loved to send a flood or something but knew he couldn't."

"His fan base would turn against him. Call him a bully and never follow him again."

"Gods you see are like rock stars they live for that audience gratification."

"He knew he couldn't go on living in this trapped suburbia fake smile hell. So he came up with a cunning plan."

He told his fans.

"Hey! all you cool young dudes. You have all been so great I'm gonna create the hippest paradise for you.  A garden of Eden. Where you can have anything you desire for the rest of your life's. "

"Just one little thing see that small apple tree over there just don't eat any of its apples but everything else is all yours. Then he just sat back and waited."

"As any parent knows tell your kids they can play in the whole playground but stay off the wall. The first place the kids head for is the wall."

"Sure enough the kids went for the apples."

"So God got all revengeful kicked them out of Eden and told them how dare they disobey him after all he had done."

"To Gods amazement the guilt trip worked!"

"They blamed themselves, from that day on God could do anything he wanted, blame it all on his fans and they just excepted it."

"His fans just carried on loving him and like a battered suburban housewife put it all down to something they must have said."

"So you see, God, As Catwell explained it, made man in his own image, Worts and all."

"He's more like us than he wants us to know."

Parkinson -"Amazing.  Perhaps Catwell was onto something."

Bowie- "Well, he was definitely on something."

Parkinson- "A lot of that in those days but is it also true that the man who sold the world is based on Steven Catwell?"

Bowie smiles. "Something like that I remember Catwell out of his mind at a friends party had me trapped on the stairs for hours while he ranted in my face about how he was going to destroy the world."

"A few days later I wrote that song and the rest is history as they say."

Copyright © 2002 BBC.*

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Dedicated to the great David Bowie who my character Catbad was partly based on. Thanks to you we learnt to love the alien in all of us.

*only joking auntie Beeb :-).

Copyright ©2016 Ronan O Boyle.