If True Love Exists

Chapter 14

Willa moved about her room early the next morning. Pulling her thick hair into a bun and grabbing her coat she
quietly shut the door, so she didn't wake Elisa. She walked across campus and made her way to Mikes building. She walked up to his floor and softly knocked on the door. Philby opened it, he was wearing a pale blue sweater that brought out his eyes. He looked so good she almost forgot her irritation with him about his comments the previous night.

"Are you ready?" She asked quietly. Seeing Mike still sleeping.

"Yeah," Philby said stepping out and closing the door behind him. They made their way to the car in silence. They were going to have breakfast and spend the day together, she had planned this day the second Philby told her he was coming. Willa got in the car and began driving without saying a word.

"Are you okay?" Philby asked turning to look at her.

"I'm fine."

Philby inhaled like he was going to say something and then stopped.

"Willa, I'm not an idiot. I know that fine doesn't mean okay, it means frustrated, insecure, neurotic and emotional."

"Read that on Tumblr somewhere, genius." Willa said sarcastically.

"What!?" Philby exclaimed "Okay, , seriously what's wrong, is this about what I said last night? Because, I was being dumb and wasn't thinking."

Willa sighed. "It's not just last night, it's every time we are together lately. It's like everything we say to each other starts a fight." She said, pulling into a parking space and turning to look at him.

"What are you saying?" Philby asked.

"I don't know Philby, like you said, you're smart. Figure it out."

"Did you bring me here just to start a fight? As far as I can recall you were already mad at me this morning so I think maybe that's something you should figure out." Philby said accusingly.

Willa shot him a dark look and got out of the car, walking ahead to the plaza where the breakfast place was. Philby sighed. He was getting really tired of her ditching him in the car.

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They sat awkwardly at breakfast, eating their food and barely talking to each other. After breakfast ended, they walked out. The bright winter sun glared in Willa's eyes. She used her hand to shield them.

"So I planned to go rock climbing at this really cool place I've wanted to try. Do you still want to go?" She asked.

"Yes. I do, I think this is a dumb thing to fight about." Philby said.

"You're right, let's just forget this happened." Willa responded taking a deep breath. Philby reached for her hand, and they walked back to the car.

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Willa unlocked her door and walked inside. The room was quiet and dark, she shut the door and slid down till she was sitting and leaning against it. She buried her face in her hands trying to keep the tears from falling. They had stopped fighting and the day had gone pretty well, but the tension was still there. They were both so careful about what they said to each other, both afraid that if they said something wrong that the other would explode, that at the slightest touch their relationship would completely crumble. Willa stood up wiping her eyes and taking a deep breath. She had to get ready, she was meeting Philby for dinner at a nice place. She didn't feel like going. Her heart was so heavy right now, making her way to her closet, she picked a nice black dress and changed. She sat at her desk staring at her makeup but not putting any on. Her mind whirled, she put her head in her hands and tried not cry.
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"You look nice, by the way" Philby said, taking her arm as they walked back towards campus after dinner. "What are our plans for tomorrow? I don't have to leave till Monday" He was trying to fill the awkward silence and she knew that.

"Philby. We need to talk." She said turning to look at him. It was time to address the elephant in the room.

"What, why?" He asked, she could tell the look on his face he knew.

"Is this really working?"

"Willa...what are you saying?" He said his eyes showing fear.

Willa took a deep breath trying not cry. "We're too far away, we don't talk as often. Getting to see each other is hard enough and when we do, we only fight,"

"Willa...no..we can figure this out."

"Can we, Dell? Can we really? Because I don't know about you but I've been trying to figure this out since before Christmas"

"You're just going to give up then?" Philby said beginning to get angry.

"No...I just don't think this is working." Willa said near tears.

"No, no. You're right. This isn't working out, we should break up. No point in continuing what's only hurting us." He said, his face angrily shutting down.

"I think at this point it's all we can do." Willa said the pain etched on her face.

"Okay. That's it then. I'll have a cab take me back to the airport, don't worry about it." He said shortly.

"Dell..." She said watching him turn and walk away. He didn't turn around when she called his name. Willa watched his retreating figure and the tears began to fall.