Sweet & Salty

Chapter 43: Diagnosis

Matilda's POV
"What do you mean I have diabetes," I laugh. "Don't be ridiculous of course I don't," I say, still trying to comprehend the information. The doctors have got to be wrong. No doctor has ever mentioned, or picked up on this before, surely they must have it wrong.

"We've ran numerous blood tests to make this diagnosis and they all came back with high blood glucose levels," Doctor Taylor says from beside me. After I refused to believe Justin, he went and got the doctor, hoping he could help me understand. "Type two is when the body gradually loses the capacity to produce enough insulin, which is why it can be developed though any stage of life. Have you witnessed any symptoms recently? Excessive thirst, increased urination, excessive hunger, fatigue or blurry vision?" the doctor asks.

Being an athlete, I generally drink a lot of water as it is, which obviously increases my urination so of course I didn't think much of that. As for the huger, I thought that was a side effect of all the exercise we do at the academy. We all have fairly big appetites. I have been sleeping longer and been finding it harder to get out of bed in the mornings, but again, I thought that was from my busy schedule and training.

"I guess, but I have reasonable reasons for experiencing the symptoms rather than them being caused by diabetes," I answer, trying to prove that he was wrong, even though I knew he couldn't possibly be. He's a doctor, he knows what he's talking about, but I'm opinionated and in denial.

"I'm sorry Miss Ryan, but we're one hundred percent positive on this diagnosis. This is our job, we do these things every day."

"I know. I'm sorry, I'm still trying to wrap my head around it all," I confess. "I have a few questions though, what treatment will I be required to take? And will this affect my surfing at all?" I ask.

"As type two involves high blood sugar levels, it can be prevented by avoiding foods with a high sugar contents so sticking to a healthy diet is recommended. Exercise also helps," he says but I cut him off before he can finish.

"Being at the academy I already have a clean diet and loads of exercise, I just don't understand how I can have diabetes!" I exclaim, my emotions getting the better of me.

"Blood sugar levels are influenced by other things rather than foods. Caffeine, illnesses, sports drinks, dried fruit, birth control pills, yoghurt and hormones can all alter you blood sugar levels," he explains, which really helps we to understand. I drink my fair share of coffee and sports drinks due to all the trainings and exercise. My diet does consist of yoghurt and dried fruit and I'm on birth control, no wonder my sugar content is high. "As for further treatment, I'll prescribe you tablets, which will hopefully control you sugar levels. I recommend you come back for regular check-ups where we will run blood monitoring tests to see if the tablets are working efficiently, if not they you will be required to inject yourself with insulin, but we'll try the tablets first. As for this effecting your surfing, once you have control on your condition it shouldn't be a problem," he explains and breathe a sigh of relief. If he had told me that it would have an effect on my surfing I don't know what I would do. The health of my body is obviously important to me but so is surfing, I'm just lucky I can have both.

"Doctor if you don't mind me asking, she had a really high temperature when we bought her here and she was unconscious, was that due to the diabetes or something else?" Justin asks and a gape at him, learning this new information about myself. Well that certainly explains why I don't remember being rushed to hospital.

"I suspect the temperature was due to heat stroke and dehydration. I heard you had a competition previously that day. As for the unconsciousness, fatigue from both the diabetes and the exhaustion from the competition, but it's nothing to worry about." He tells us. "Matilda, is there anything else you want me to explain further or if you have any more question, feel free to ask," he says and I shake my head, "on that case, I'll come back with your prescription and you are free to return home," he says and exits the room.

Justin's POV
As soon as the doctor leaves the room, Tilda's content face crumbles. Her face now resembling, disbelief, worry and anger. She seemed completely fine with her condition and the treatment when the doctor was explaining it. Why wouldn't she be? Yes it was a lot to process for Tilda and I knew and understood that. But she was acting as if this was nothing and she'll wake up tomorrow and it all be a dream. That's what worried me the most.

"Hey, are you okay?" I say softly, looking over to her as she rushes to pack her few belongings that were bought to the hospital.

"Fine," she replies coldly, not looking up as she speaks. The lack of expression in her voice and on her face telling me the exact opposite.

"Tilds, it'll be okay. You'll take a few tablets and your life will be back to normal. Routines will remain the same, you'll hardly even notice the difference," I say, trying to persuade her from her negative thoughts which is something I deal with daily.

Depression isn't something that is cured overnight, it takes time.  I've dealt with my fair share of shitty circumstances and bad thoughts. I know how to ease away from them, but Tilda has no idea. I don't want this to be something that'll knock Tilda down. I don't want her to stress or worry over anything let alone her own health. She needs to remain strong and it is my job to make sure that she does just that. I can't let this get in the way of her surfing at the academy. She has a real shot at winning the female spot on the World Tour and if she lets like get in the way of that, I know she'll hate herself for it.

"Justin, I said I'm fine," she snaps.

"Tilds, I'm only trying to help," I reply, knowing that it's only her emotion is the cause of her rudeness. She doesn't mean it and I don't judge her for being rude in a situation like this. She has every right to.

"Who says I need your help?" she scoffs, looking back over her shoulder at me.

"I'm just want to be here for you. That's all I'm trying to say," I say, a little shocked at her sudden attitude. I get that she's angry and upset, but that doesn't mean that she gets to take that out on me. I'm not her personal punching bag. I've only done right by her, like any girl deserves and expects from their boyfriend and I only ask for that in return. She should be welcoming me with open arms in a situation like this, especially without her family here.

"I can do this by myself. I'm seventeen, it's no big deal. Don't you think I can handle it? Do you think I need a man to look after me? Don't lie to me. You weren't there for me last time and I was fine by myself. You can leave, I can do it again, you know?" she gushes angrily.

I can't believe she's bring this up again. I made a mistake and I admitted and apologised for that numerous times. She forgave me. It's not like I wanted to leave, but I had no choice. I couldn't live the way I was any longer. Tilda deserved someone better than the old me, but more importantly I was sick of the pain caused by all the mess in my life. I had so many expectations and responsibilities, it was all too much. I want the best life for my siblings and the only way to provide them with that was to leave and fix myself. Besides, she didn't need me back then. She had Will. He danced with her, made her smile and laugh. He bought out the best in her, whereas, I bought out the worse. I was dragging her down with me and I knew she'd eventually drown. Maybe she was better off without me. But the last few months had been so perfect, I don't know why she has to ruin it over nothing.

"I know you're upset and you have every right to be, but you I have no right to bring that into this!" I say, anger surging through my body as if it replaced the role of blood. "Sometimes, you have to think of yourself before others and that's what I did. I put myself first. I was sick of the poison and demons within me and I had to change that for myself and my family. You know I made mistake, but so have you so you don't get to judge me on mine. All I want to do is help and you have to go ruin things," I say, my anger disappearing and changing into disappointment. I don't want to fight anymore. I don't want either of us to say anything else that we'd regret. And I certainly don't want it to get so out of control that we can't come back from this argument. So to prevent it all, I turn my back and exit the room.

I'm tired of constantly apologising. I'm tired of always fixing every little bump in our relationship. A relationship works both ways, I shouldn't be the one always trying. If she want's this relationship to continue then she needs to learn to put more effort into it, rather than just relying on me to do so. Yes, I have been in the wrong for some of our pervious issues, but not this time. I'm not going to apologise this time. I'm not wasting my time trying if that's not what she wants. The only way this will get resolved is if gets over herself and makes the effort on her own.