If I believe you

1 // Pills

I roll a piece of receipt between my fingers as I sit in a luxe red velvet chair. My left leg draped over my right, and my foot sways slightly.

"I've picked up running again." I shrug and lift my eyes from my hands to the man across from me.

He insists I call him Theo, he says 'it makes me more comfortable.' Ive decided to humor him, though its utterly awkward.

"That's marvelous! Have you dropped smoking yet?" He asks as he scribbles something on a yellow notepad, I swear his life depends on the yellow page.

I scoff at his question and begin focusing on the piece of paper again.

"Have you ever smoked a cigarette?" I ask with a bit of emphasis on the word 'you'

"Well, no but I-" he begins to choke out before I cut him off.

"Then I advise you to not say 'your only a few steps away' like you did last week, and the week before. Its not that easy Theo." I chuckle to myself at how snarky this was.

"I told you I could prescribe something to help." He says as he raises his eyebrows, as if asking if he could.

I stop breathing for a moment and glance up at him, his hair slicked back and five o'clock shadow surrounding his face.

"And I believe I told you, no pills." I run a hand through my hair and move my legs to be cross legged.

"Okay, Ill quit on that subject. How are your friends?" He asks as he shifts slightly to reach for his cup of tea that smells horrid.

"Christian still hasn't spoken to me, Lex babies me and is currently sitting in the waiting room, and Aimee is paying my rent." I pick the piece of rolled paper up off my lap and throw it into the garbage can next to me.

"Anyone new?" He asks then writes on the damned yellow pad again.

I giggle slightly at his question.

"I screwed some latin guy last weekend." I shrug

"You need to form healthy relationships, not just casual hook ups." He says, his eyes burning into me through his glasses.

I stretch my arms upward and interlock my hands behind my head.

"Healthy relationships just wont happen for me, ive come to terms with one night stands and cats for the rest of my life." I scrunch my nose up a bit in disgust. "Okay maybe dogs"

"Have you spoken with him?" He asks and massages the bridge of his nose where his glasses sit.

I put my hands back on my lap and begin picking at the loose thread of my shorts.

"I called and it went straight to voicemail. I left a pitiful message, and never received a call back." I shrug. "As I've said Ive come to terms."

"Then why are you here?" He says with a concerned look.

"Lex insists I come. She says I'm a better person after I leave this building. Id rather be in hell then be here, but I'm such a 'people pleaser' and this pleases people." I wave my hand around.

"Why do you feel the need to put yourself through this if its not benefiting you?" He says and begins tapping his blue ink pen on his ugly yellow notepad.

"I am benefiting, I get free caramel candies when I stop in." I smile and grab a piece of candy out of the bowl on the table beside me.

"When are you going to stop making jokes, and face the truth about your feelings?" He sounds tired, whether its of me or the day I'm not sure.