The girl that makes my heart race

Dark Nights

~Tori~

I hate setting out goals to do something, but then it never works out the way you planned.

I set out to go to bed early, but that never happened.

I stayed up till 3am, and I'm still awake now. I'm wrestling with something but I don't know what.

And it's not sleep.

Maybe anxiety about prom...

Or how my Mom is coping in hospital...

Or the fact I'm telling myself I love Justin and using him to make Chres jealous...

Probably all three.

But it can't be 'cause I'm not fretting about prom, I do love Justin but I'm not proud of using him like and the hospital gives Noah and me regular updates about how Mom is doing.

It's something deeper than that...

Much more deeper than that.

But what?

I toss and turn in my bed, opening my eyes then closing them, sitting up then lying down. I couldn't control my body movements. It was like someone or something had taken over my body and was playing with my head, and snipping all my emotions off, one by one.

"You weren't suppose to fall in love Tori, remember Aaron, the guy you fell in love with, but then crushed your heart, over and over again, after you gave him a billion chances before realizing you were so naive to believe he had changed, oh he did, he changed the girl every night. You thought Chres loved you, but he's moved on Tori, I wonder what colour theme him and Jennet's wedding will be, and the name of their kids, face it Victoria, your never gonna make it, you'll live alone after Justin deserts you and your drug addict mother dies, Noah will forget about you and no one will know who you are, so enjoy your sad life now, because it's only going to get worse. Your a monster Tori. You push people way so far that they never want to see you again, your a disappointment to you parents and Noah, so there go your emotions, the ones you shouldn't have..."

I could still feel the tears running down my face as I listened to the voice, believing every single word. I guess they left three emotions.

Sadness, anger and fear.

I don't think this is a dream because I'm wide awake...

Dark nights aren't the best nights...

Monsters are real, and demons are real too.

They live inside of us,

And sometimes they win.
---------------------------------------------------
Quote in the mm💕

I feel you Tori😭❤️

High like always,🚬

Anii😭🐘