April 17, 2012
Dear Louis,
They're sending me home the day after tomorrow. Ellie came to see me today with James and Lauren. They both seem embarrassed but glad to see me. Ellie asked me what happened to my bones... You can't see them anymore since my weight has been monitored. They all hugged me and talked to me but still I didn't talk. I think I've forgotten how to speak. Ellie prattled on about a song she's teaching herself and James and Lauren were holding hands. It's good for them. They'll need each other. Hopefully, Ellie will accept them.
Alex won't be released until after I'm gone. And even then he won't be released from the actual hospital for several months. They say he has multiple personality disorder, schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, anxiety, and he suffers from depression too depending on who he is. It seems weird someone can be so many different personalities. The nurses were saying he was asking to see me to apologize now and it's frightening.
I've made a decision. Once I'm home, I plan to read your note. The people here think it will help me to move on. Nothing will help me move on. The love of my life is gone. Forever. Alone. Gone. I was left with no warning and no reason. It's not fair.
In group sessions today we had to share one secret we'd never told anyone. I listened to everyone else and at this point they've basically given up on me speaking. I refuse. My secret is simple. I hate that I wasn't enough to stop you. That I wasn't there. That my hands weren't there to grab yours. That my love didn't feel enough.
I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I love you. I wanted to be with you forever. No one else ever crossed my mind. Not after you. I tried to remind you of my love. We were best friends, always together, inseparable. Until death did us part. I miss you. I love you.
Always, Only, Forever Yours,
Mai <3
YOU ARE READING
Without You
RomanceUNDER EDITING: Mairenn and Louis had been together for a while. Neither of them kept track of the time. Mairenn knew Louis struggled with suicide and guilt over his parents leaving him and his sister when they were young. She loved him and supported...
