March 10, 2012
Dear Louis,
I've been here nineteen days and still nothing new. I've been to one or two of the art classes. I tried out the music class and it's full of depressed instrumentalists. I can't handle them plus my own feelings. People here are all into "Let's share our feelings!" and I hate that. I don't want people to know what I'm feeling. People would worry too much and they have their own problems.
I wish the roses would bloom. I don't want their beauty just their smell. Remember when you took me for a walk in the park and you had set rose petals to lead a path to a dinner under the moon? You always knew what could make me smile. We used to go to the park every day.
I hope someone's keeping you’re... Spot, clean. I'm not allowed to leave and Elliott I'm sure hasn't been going as often. Speaking of our angel, Mom hasn't been allowing her to see me. She says she doesn't need Elliott to be around all this and become influenced. It's not like we're diseased. She can't 'catch' what we have. If anything, she'll see what not to become...
The therapist, I've finally learned his name: John Valentine, has dubbed me his favorite patient due to the challenge I put for him. He says in group sessions he doesn't really mind my muteness but individually I need to open up. He doesn't know I've given up my voice like you gave up life. He talks to me hoping if I know him I'll return the favor. He gave me this worksheet to fill out:
Name: Mairenn
Age: 16 almost 17
Looks? Brown hair, hazel eyes, average height, ivory skin
Personality: quiet, calm, forgetful, stoic
Why are you here? My mother brought me because I miss my boyfriend Louis who committed suicide.
Do you think you need help? No, of course not. I'm just handling things my own way.
Other? I don't talk. EVER. And I don't need your help.
I decided to fill it out as I don't communicate any other way. I hope he appreciates the initiative. He reminds me of you. The same dark tousled hair except his eyes are a vivid blue. They remind me of the lake in the summer. The first time we used the words "I love you." The first time we kissed. The first time we fell asleep in each other arms. The last time we ever had barriers up around each other. The last place I saw you.... I love you.
Always, Only, Forever Yours,
Mai <3
YOU ARE READING
Without You
عاطفيةUNDER EDITING: Mairenn and Louis had been together for a while. Neither of them kept track of the time. Mairenn knew Louis struggled with suicide and guilt over his parents leaving him and his sister when they were young. She loved him and supported...
