February 15, 2012
Dear Louis,
Yesterday was Valentine’s Day. I did the plan we made up on my birthday last July. I skipped school and brought a picnic. Instead of going to the lake, I went to your grave for the first time since I buried you. I ate lunch and lay on the blanket I'd brought. The snow and slush is gone the ground is just simply hard now. I fell asleep and when I awoke Elliott was asleep beside me. She had seen me on her way home from school and come to me. I saw her cheeks damp with tears and felt my own dried tears. I gathered up the food leaving your half and carried Elliott home. My mother was worried and pacing but she was more glad to see us home and safe. She smiled and grabbed Elliott from me starting her a warm bath.
I found the first green leaves today. A few flowers are starting to grow back in my old garden. I'm not going to keep up with it this year. Its beauty will hurt too much. Like the roses you sent me the day you... Left. You'd preordered them and sent me the note that way. All real roses and later I noticed one fake rose. That cliché story but you made it special. Those roses are still on my desk. I can't bring myself to throw them out.
Yesterday wasn't as bad as I expected because I didn't see that many couples. Mom didn't even notice I skipped school and I answered the fun when they called saying I'd missed more than three class periods. She had gone to see Dad and talk to him. He's buried near you. Only a block away. When Dad died, you were there to catch me. When you died, there was no one to catch me. Everyone was either in their own pain, or gone too.
You had to pick Christmas didn't you? Christmas is forever ruined, Louis. Why didn't you think? Think about us. Or even Elliott. We cared. We wanted you. We needed you alive. I needed you. It doesn't matter anymore.
Always, Only, Forever Yours,
Mai <3
YOU ARE READING
Without You
Roman d'amourUNDER EDITING: Mairenn and Louis had been together for a while. Neither of them kept track of the time. Mairenn knew Louis struggled with suicide and guilt over his parents leaving him and his sister when they were young. She loved him and supported...
