#1: Once A Gangster Loves (WATTYS2020)

EPILOGUE

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ONCE A GANGSTER LOVES

EPILOGUE

"Cheers!" We all cheered as we put our bottles in the air and tossed. Today's weather was just fine and it just fit the party's vibe as we celebrate our success for graduating high school. After years we finally made it. Of all the previous years, this year was the most stressful among all of it. We've been through a lot of circumstances but we survived.

"What time are we going to visit her? I hope it will be on the morning because my flight has been moved. I'll be going to Cali for tomorrow and will be staying there for a week," saad ni Zeke.

Tumango ako sakaniya as I listened to him. "Grabe sana lahat binibigyan ng flight ticket as graduation gift," rinig kong daing ni Bry. I was able to pat his shoulder for a comfort since katabi ko siya. Pasaway kasi siyang anak kaya siguro hindi siya pinagbibigyan ng parents niya na magbakasyon outside the country. So we can't blame his parents. Hindi niya rin kasi nagawang i-maintain ang pagiging included sa top list of students sa year level namin.

"You should do better next year, Bry. Binigyan ka naman ng shares sa company niyo diba? You should be happy for that, though?" Puna ko sakaniya. He just shrugged.

"Ano namang gagawin ko 'don? Wala akong interes sa business namin."

"Magkakapera ka pa rin without working, that's the benefit of having company shares. Just be cool with it," dagdag pa ni Gianna habang kumakain ng barbeque. Napailing nalang ako sakaniya. Ang takaw niya sa pulutan, hindi naman umiinom. Ibang klase talaga.

"Pero ano nga? Anong oras tayo bukas? Kasi kung hindi niyo kaya ng umaga, mauuna na ako sainyo," ani Zeke.

"Hindi, dapat sabay sabay tayo. Mas matutuwa 'yon pag ganoon. Kami nalang maga-adjust para sa'yo," komento ko. Mukha namang wala silang alma sa sinabi ko dahil tumango lang sila. "I guess... 8AM will be good?" I suggested.

The celebration continued but in the middle of it... we suddenly opened up the topic about Clinton, and Kaisler. Hindi iyon sinasadya. Nagkaroon kasi ng katahimikan at hindi namin masisisi si Max nang banggitin niya na miss niya na iyong dating kami. Totoo kasi. Lahat kami hindi na ganoon kasaya dahil may umalis. At kapag may umaalis nagkakaroon ng pagkukulang. Lahat kami iniiwasang mapunta ang usapan tungkol sa tatlong tao: sina Kaisler, Clinton, at Shazney. Ang bigat kasi sa pakiramdam. Sobrang bigat.

Akala namin isa lang iyong namatay pero pakiramdam namin tatlo sila at kami... parang pinapatay din dahil sa lungkot. Nagi-guilty nga ako dahil alam ko... aalis din ako. Hindi ko sinasabi sakanila dahil ayokong makita silang madismaya sa akin. All they think I am doing close to being fine... Tingin nila nakakaya kong maging matatag pero hindi e. Hindi ko kaya. I loved Shazney. I really did. And her lost is like a conscious death for me. It was like I am dead but still breathing. That is what they didn't know because I always acted fine. I just didn't want them to have another worry. Mabuti nang tatlo ang pinoproblema nila kasi kung maaawa din sila sakin, it will just make feel more bad.

"I have contacted Kaisler on phone after searching for his location for couple of months but I didn't get any information. He was vague about everything we are curious of. Isang beses lang din kasi akong nakatawag sakaniya dahil pinatayan niya agad ako at mukhang tinanggal niya iyong sim niya sa phone.

"He's out of reach, guys. He's not the same leader we know... Something must have really happened," ani Maxton. I took a deep breath and closed my fist.

As much as I want to understand him... I just couldn't dahil kung mahal niya talaga si Shazney kahit ano pa 'yon dadating dapat siya e.  Naiisip ko na gagawa at gagawa dapat siya ng paraan kasi mahal niya si Shazney, di 'ba? Dapat bumalik siya pero hindi niya nagawa knowing na may sakit si Shazney noong mga panahong 'yon. At ngayong wala na si Shazney, lalo lang siyang nagpakabato. It made me question his feelings for Shazney. Napaisip ako kung may katotohanan ba 'yung mga 'yon? O sadyang may mas matimbang lang kay Shazney? He is my friend but he's a worthless jerk. I'm extremely disappointed.

Clinton left the gang and the town after mailibing si Shazney. Shazney died in US because she wasn't able to make it on her surgery. Her body was too weak at hindi nito kinaya ang operation... She fought. All know that. She did her best because of us kahit alam naming kung hindi dahil sa aming mga kaibigan niya at sa pamilya niya, she will just choose to give up dahil nawawalan na siya ng pag-asa at masyado na siyang nahihirapan. Her body was cremated at agad itong inilibing noong naipadala ang katawan niya dito sa Pilipinas. Masyadong minadali ng mommy ni Shazney iyong libing niya. Siguro dahil masyado siyang nasaktan sa pagkawala ng anak niya, pinili niyang ipalibing ito agad at magpaka-layo layo. I felt bad for her because she already lost her two daughters and her husband. Shazney told me once that she hated her mom but she still couldn't blame her because her mom lost his loved ones and her daughter which happened to be her twin sis.

Shazney lived a happy life but it ended sadly... Sa paraang mahirap tanggapin. Sana nakasama pa namin siya ng matagal. Sana marami pa akong nagawa para sakaniya. Maybe... we're really just not destined.

She was my first love but my first heartbreak as well.

"Grabe ang wasted ng itsura niyo!" Rixon said as we showed our faces on the camera. He was already laughing as soon as the video call started. He knew we were having an after party and he already expected our faces to be like this. We are all like a mess but because this is our way of trying to be fine and making everything's fine dahil may magandang nangyari.

"Hoy! We still look good Rixon! Stop laughing as if you don't look like a shit when you're this drunk," Gianna protested.

"Fine fine," ani Rixon mula sa kabilang linya at natahimik siya saglit. Mukhang may hinahanap.

"Looking for someone?" Maxton asked. Rixon was just too obvious.

"Yup. Where's my girl?"

"Already sleeping, dude," ani Maxton at itinapat iyong camera kay Chloe na natutulog doon sa sofa. Rixon frowned but immediately wiped it off and his forehead creased in annoyance.

"Ba't hinayaan niyo maglasing?!" He shouted kinda angry.

"Eh nalasing, wala na kaming nagawa."

Chloe's a light drinker. Tatlong shot palang yata ay nahilo na siya at hindi rin namin alam kaya wala na kaming nagawa. Kaya pala sobra magpaalala itong si Rix sa amin kanina bago kami magsimula kasi hindi pala talaga umiinom si Chloe. Hindi naman din kasi nagpaawat si Chloe kanina. She's heartbroken dahil wala si Rix sa graduation niya/namin kaya ganoon. They're both fine. Rix is still courting her and we all know Chloe's close to finally saying 'yes' to him despite of the distance they have.

"She's safe to us. Kami na ang bahala sakaniya," I said assuring him. He nodded with a sign of relief on his face.

"Thanks."

We drunk ourselves until we were almost losing our sanity.

Still after all of the sufferings... it helped us to be more strong and I think we matured. Natutuwa rin ako dahil nagagawa na naming mag-saya despite the thought that we lost a friend.

They seemed to be on the process of moving on and that's good. That's for the better... Tatlong buwan na rin kasi ang nakalipas simula noong mawala siya.

Siguro... we all just have to accept what everything happens because it were all made with a reason behind it. It will be all worth the pain.