I Want To Love You

Secrets Revealed

Tangela P.O.V

"I Have Stage Four Breast Cancer....."

"Please Say Something." I Pleaded. He Just Sat There In Disbelief. He Said "How Long Have You Had It ?" I Sighed And Said "I Found Out I Had It Five Years Ago. I Didn't Tell Anyone Because It Was In The Early Stages And My Doctors Treated It. It Went Away For A While And I Thought I Was In The Clear So I Left You And Shonnah. I Was Young And Dumb And I Wasn't Thinking Of My Children I Was Thinking About Myself Only When I Should've Been A Mother To You And Shonnah." I Sighed And Continued. "Now Shonnah Completely Hates Me And You Do Too. I Really Don't Blame You Because I Hate Me Too. I'm Getting Exactly What I Deserve For Hurting You Guys And I'm Sorry. I Apologize For Everything. This Is Cliché But If I Could Go Back In Time I Would've Been There For Y'all. I'm So Sorry" I Broke Down Crying. Shawn Came And Wrapped His Arms Around Me And Said "I Forgive You Mom. I Sat There In That Cell Everyday Hating You. Thinking About My Sister's Well Being. Thinking Of How You Abandoned Her. But My Mentor In The Prison Told Me To Start Praying. So I Started Praying Everyday And Night. Soon A Weight Had Been Lifted Off Of My Heart. I Forgive You." I Cried Even Harder And Hugged Him Harder Saying "Thank You Thank You." He Wiped My Tears And Went Back On The Other Side Of The Table. He Said "So What's The Update On Your Condition Now ?" I Said "Well The Cancer's Came Back And It's Attacking More Aggressive Than Before. The Doctors Said That I'd Be Lucky To Even Live Six Months." He Dropped His Head. I Grabbed His Hand And Said "No Baby Don't You Worry About Me. Mama's Gonna Be Alright. God Got Me And If It's In His Will Then I'll Live But If He Wants To Take Me He Can. But No Matter What Remember That I'll Always Love You And Either Here Or On The Other Side You'll Always Be My Babyboy. My First Born." Tears Were Rolling Down His Face, He Said "I Love You Too Mama." I Smiled And Said "Baby Don't Cry. I'm Gonna Be Alright." He Managed A Smile And Said "Well Have You Told Shonnah ?" I Shook My Head. He Said "Why ?" I Sighed And Said "She Hasn't Lived With Me Since She Was Fourteen. She Moved In With Chardonnay. She Hates Me. Last Time I Seen Her, She Told Me How Much She Hates Me And How I'm Horrible Mother. Then She Stormed Out And No One Had Seen Her In Four Days." He Said "Wow. You Don't Seem Like You're Worried." I Said "I Know Where She Is. She's At Y'alls Grandparents House. She Goes There When She's Upset And Need To Clear Her Head. When She Comes Back I'm Gonna Explain Everything." He Nodded And Said "Okay" I Smiled And Said "Well Son. We Have A Lot Of Catching Up To Do. Now Start From The Beginning." For The Rest Of The Night We Bonded Like Mother And Son. Since He Didn't Have A Place To Stay I Let Him Stay With Me. I Went To Sleep That Night With My Mind At Ease.

Teshonnah P.O.V

I Woke Up Bright And Early So I Could Pray And Meditate. I Was On The Patio With My Eyes Closed Mediating. I Was At Peace With Myself And Nature. I Finally Opened My Eyes, Took A Deep Breath And Exhaled. I Decided That I'd Go Back To My Regular Life. I Know Once I Got Back I'd Have Consequences To Face But For Once In My Life, I Made A Decision On My Own Without Hearing Anyone's Opinion. If They Couldn't Understand That I Needed Some Peace From Everything And Everyone Then Oh Well. I Walked Back In The House And Started Making Breakfast. As I Stirred The Pancake Batter, My Grandmother Was Coming In The Kitchen. I Spoke And Said "Good Morning Grandma." She Smiled And Said "Good Morning Baby. How You Doing This Morning ?" I Sighed And Said "Well Nana Like You Always Say I'm Alive And Breathing. I'm In Good Health And God Has Blessed Me To See Another Day." She Put Her Hand On Her Hip And Said "That's Well And Good Sugar But You Know You Can't Fool Me. What's Really Going On With You." I Sat Down The Batter And Began To Explain. When I Was Done, She Looked At Me Sideways. I Said "What ?" She Said "Sit Down." I Sat Down And Looked Up At Her. "Now Teshonnah You Listen To Me. I Understand That Life Is Hard. Trust Me I Really Do. I've Been On This Earth For Almost Sixty Years And I Can Assure You Baby What You're Going Through Is Nothing Compared To What Most Teens Go Through At Your Age. Now I Don't Blame You For Getting Away And Coming Here To Clear Your Mind. Sometimes We Have To Seclude Ourselves To Get Inner Peace. If Your Friends Can't Understand That Then That's Their Business. You Did This For You And No One Else. Therefore You Should Feel No Guilt. You Have To Stop Doing What Others Want You To Do, Do What You Need To Do For Yourself Because They're Not You. Now If You're Going Back Today Then Be My Guest. But Don't You Dare Feel Bad For Doing Anything For Your Well Being Understand Me ?" I Said "Yes Ma'am." She Said "Alright. Now That That's Established, What Are You Cooking ?" I Laughed And Said "Pancakes, Bacon, Grits And Eggs." She Said "Okay You Do The Pancakes And Bacon And I'll Do The Grits And Eggs. How Does That Sound ?" I Said "It Sounds Good Nana Mae" She Laughed And Said "Finish Making That Batter Shonnah Mae."