"And how are you? After your parents divorce was finalized?"
"I'm fine" I say.
"Interesting" she says and writes it down.
"Interesting?" I ask.
"Just thinking out loud" Dr.Smith says. "And your sister, how is she?"
"She's fine" I say getting annoyed.
"Anything new happen?"
"No. Everything is the same. Except for the fact that I had a baby, my husband died and my parents divorced" I say.
"You seem upset."
"Of course I'm 'upset', I know I'm upset, I don't need you telling me so" I say.
"Does your parents divorce make you mad?"
"I don't care" I say. "When is this going to be over?"
"You mean your therapy session?"
"Yes. When can I leave?"
"I'm just trying to help" she says. "You haven't even given me a chance, just tell me, what are you mad about?" The blonde therapist asks.
"I'm mad because I have to come to this stupid session and talk about my 'feelings'"
"That's good. It's good to be mad" she says and I groan.
"Stop saying things like that" I say, "I wouldn't be mad if I weren't here in the first place."
"But you are here, and I'm here to help you. I just need you to talk to me" I cross my arms and shake my head.
"I have to go pick up my daughter" I say grabbing my purse and slamming the door. I take the elevator down to the lobby and head to the hospitals daycare center. I take Ella, who is sound asleep in her car seat, and walk out. I buckle her up and drive home, checking the mirror every 5 minutes to see how she's doing. It's been five weeks without Jack.
I stop at the destination and unbuckle Ella, causing her to cry. I think about him everyday. "Oh, I'm sorry" I say trying to soothe her. "I know, I'm sorry" I say quickly opening the house door. It's getting harder and harder. I walk in and continue to soothe her and her crying comes to a minimal. Her diaper feels heavy, so I head up to the nursery. He would know how to make her laugh, he would know how to make me laugh.
"Shh" I say as I change her diaper. I quickly wipe and get a new one, and once I'm done I pick her back up again. I lie her in my arms and gently bounce. He would've loved doing this, being a father. "Shh" I say and sit down on the rocking chair, she still cries loudly. I begin to him gently and it somewhat calms her down.
"Let it go, let it go. Can't hold it back anymore.. Let it go, let it go, turn away and slam the door" I gently sing and continues to cry. "I don't care, what they're going to sayy..let the storm range on" her crying begins to calm. he made me feel this way. Her crying stops completely but I still continue to hum. She lets out a small yawn that I can't help but smile to, she has his gift.
•
•
•
•
"S-so you liked it?" I ask.
"Honestly..yes" Mr.Blu, head of Arrendelle Publishings says. "I think this would make a great book. Tell me, what did inspire you?"
"Honestly..my life, it's just a couple things that were changed."
"So, Jake, is your husband?"
"His name is Jack" I correct him. "That's one of the things that I changed."
"Oh, well, I'm sorry for your loss" he says. There's an awkward silence, like always. But I can't lie, I like that moment, most people feel uncomfortable for mentioning him, but I just think of how he would've reacted. He would've laughed at the awkwardness or would've made an inappropriate joke.
"Its not really finished" I say after a while. "It's only been 3 weeks since this has all happened, and yeah."
"Since, what?"
"Jack didn't die in the plane crash" I say, "I only got that far."
"Don't spoil it" he smiles. "Keep writing Elsa, I promise you, it will be worth it" he says. After talking some more, about money and time we shake hands and I exit the office. I head to the lobby where I'm greeted by my mother holding Ella.
"What did he say?" She asks.
"It's being published" I say and she jumps smiling brightly. Ella begins crying and she immediately regrets her decision. She hands her to me and I bounce her to keep her from crying.
"Honey, I'm so proud" she hugs me.
