The Mess {Muke}

Nineteen

I regret those times when I've chosen the dark side. I've wasted enough time not being happy. ~Jessica Lange

Michael's POV

*This Chapter May Contain Harsh Descriptions or Images, Continue At Your Own Risk*

The line went dead. I know that was all just an act. I did not really feel that way. But now I listened to the deadline beep. After standing looking down at my phone I called Luke. Within one ring he forwarded me to his voicemail. I hung up and went home.

When I walked in, I could see Samantha standing there. The restaurant would be closed for the next week because of what happened, but when she saw me she had a grave look on her face.

"Michael? What's the matter?" She asked.

"Nothing." I mumbled and continued up the stairs. I walked into my room and shut the door, sliding down it and folding my knees up to my chest and sniffling. I tried not to cry, but I could not help it. I was wrong, I should have never said that.

I looked down at my phone and could see a text from Ashton on the screen.

'How could you say those things? I swear you better watch yourself.'

Great, now he hates me. I slid my phone away from me and sat there for a long time before standing up. Walking over to my computer and sitting in the chair, I looked on Facebook to see I had messages from Calum, Ava and Rosa. News was spreading fast.

From Calum: I actually thought you were a good kid, but the fact that you said the things you did..

From Rosa: Michael how could you say those things about Luke..Must be why you act the way you do around him.

From Ava: There must be a misunderstanding right? You don't hate him that much do you? Not after all you did for him yesterday..

I looked at all of them, thinking if I would answer any of them? They could see that I had read them, but I really did not care. Until I saw the statuses, and from people I did not even know..

I can't believe that Michael Clifford had the nerve to say that to Luke..What a jerk.

I swear he won't have an easy time when he shows his face at school.

He's a freak anyway. Who likes him?

Poor Luke, no one should be saying those things about him! I swear that bastard will pay a good price.

Clifford should just go back to where he came from.

He's despicable.

He's worthless.

Nothing.

Why is he still alive?

My eyes went wide as I read them. I pushed my chair back away from the computer, and I had no idea how to react.

I stood up, numb to the bone. I tried to get away from this, and yet I was back? Only this time, I was alone. What was I supposed to do? Everyone is dead and gone, where do I go? Where is my happiness? Where did it go?

I walked over to a box I left in my closet. I took it all with me, but never took it out. Inside was a box of razors, knives, lighters, rope, I think you get the point. I looked at all, wondering what I should touch. I picked up a bottle of beer in the bottom and drank it down as if it was nothing.

I picked up a new blade, never before touching my skin. I looked at it and began to mark myself up. The blood dripping off of my arms and leaving the floor sticky. I let out pitiful sobs as I laid myself on the floor, not caring if I got blood on my uniform.

Then my phone rang, without even thinking I answered it. "H-Hello?" My voice was quiet and hoarse.

"Michael? It's Ava, are you alright?" She asked.

"I'm fine." I mumbled.

"So did you see those.." She cleared her throat. "..Those posts?"

"Yeah."

"Was it really true? What you said about Luke? You don't actually feel that way do you?" Ava asked.

"No, of course not." I replied.

"Why did you say it then?" Ava asked.

"I wanted to make it seem like I did not like him. I never meant to hurt his feelings. I really like him." I said. "I wouldn't have ever kissed him if I didn't. But if I knew all this would happened I would have offed myself."

"M-Michael.." Ava mumbled. "Do you want me to come over?"

"Not really." I replied. "It will make Samantha worried."

"That's true.." Ava sighed. "I'll make sure they won't bother you at school tomorrow. Maybe they'll listen to me."

"Ava don't get yourself involved." I said. "It will only make things worse for you."

"But Michael - "

"Please don't Ava.." I sighed.

"O-Okay.." Ava mumbled. "Oh, Michael?"

"Hm?"

"Please be careful.." Ava muttered.

"Mhm." I replied and hung up, sliding my phone back as I looked at the blood drying on my arms. There was not enough, it was never enough.

I think I remembered falling asleep in my own blood, practically drowning.

When I woke up, it was too a knock on my door. "Michael, sweetheart, dinner is ready." Samantha said from the other side. I blinked a few times. "Michael?"

"C-Coming." I mumbled. "I-I'll be down in a moment. I need to put pants on."

"Um..Okay." Samantha said and left. I changed out of my bloody uniform and then grabbed a pair of sweatpants and a hoodie. Looking at myself in the mirror, I was shocked at my complexion. My hair was a mess, I looked practically half dead. I tilted my head to the side and shook it. Walking downstairs and sitting with Samantha.

"You look tired." Samantha pointed out. "Are you alright?"

"I was taking a nap." I replied, my voice hushed.

"So, how is everything going at school?" Samantha asked.

"I already screwed it all up." I replied. Samantha raised her eyebrows. "Because everyone loves Luke, so the fact that I said some things to him that I didn't mean now makes everyone after me."

"Is Luke against you?" Samantha asked.

"He won't pick up his phone." I shrugged. Samantha took hers out on the spot and dialed Luke's number. He picked up.

"H-Hi Sa-Samantha.." He mumbled.

"Hi Luke! I was just wondering if you could cover a double shift this weekend!" Samantha said, joyous as ever.

"I-I don't kn-know.." Luke said, his voice was so quiet and I was sure I could hear sniffling.

"Are you alright? You sound kind of sick!" Samantha replied.

"You c-could say th-that." Luke replied, every word came out a stutter. I was more shocked than anything. Did he actually feel bad.

"Okay well let me know when you feel better. Go rest yourself." Samantha said and hung up. "I don't know about you," Samantha then turned to me. "But maybe you owe Luke an apology." I nodded my head slowly, but would he ever accept it?

AUTHOR'S NOTIFICATION; Ariana

I'm writing this chapter and several other chapters ahead of this in advance, but they won't all get posted in the same day. Although there a couple done.

Hugs, Kisses, Cuddles and Serenades xX