Dark Direction

Chapter 8:Cult Flashback

Dozens of candles were being lit one by one as Louis was preparing himself for a quiet mediation. He was applying breathing techniques he used in high school before performing on stage. He loved to sing but had horrible stage fright and still hated being in front of people.

Louis shook his head at the thought as he lit the last candle. Things still haven't changed much since he dropped out of school and left home after that fight with his step dad. Although he was no longer being bullied and abused, he didn't like the fact that he still had no control over his own life.

Louis decided to use incense with tonight’s meditation as it seemed to settle his nerves. Louis got in a comfortable position on the floor with his shoes and socks off. He closed his eyes and started taking in deep breaths and exhaling negative thoughts out.

He had a lot weighing on his mind lately and had the feeling of a tremendous weight on his back as well. He just couldn't shake the recent events out of his mind. He was approached by the cult leader that took him under his wing. What was supposed to be good news for Louis turned out as a burden through his eyes?

The leader feels that Louis can take things to the next level. Just like pressing the rewind button he could see the confrontation taking place as if it were just moments ago.

"Louis, I think the time has come to have our little talk. You know... things don't always come easy to people, but you have progressed quickly and I think you're ready for leadership status. I wouldn't be moving you up if I didn't think you weren't ready. “he said to Louis as he placed his hands on Louis' shoulders.

"Listen son, you have to remember a few things. Leadership is about manipulation and power. It's a grave responsibility and your followers will look to you for all their answers. With that comes their respect, respect you've earned recently. You've become a mature boy, a brother, and a hero. That power over your followers can become intoxicating and builds strength."

Louis knew what was coming next and winced at the thought as he backed away from the leader's touch. He just couldn't come to terms with what is expected of him.

"A celebration ceremony will take place at our next meeting where you will perform an initiation ritual on a new member of our congregation." A big grin grew across the leader's face as he patted Louis on the back like a proud father of a graduating son.

Louis took in another deep breath and exhaled but his heart rate increased. He took in a few more deep breaths continuing to exhale out negativity and focusing on bringing his heart rate back to normal. The sound of his leader's voice still haunted him. "Need I remind you about the spirituality ceremony? It is very important to cleanse and purify yourself of all sins 12 hours before the initiation ritual is to be performed.

Louis opened his eyes, it was apparent that meditation clearly wasn't going to take things off of his mind. He got up off the floor and started blowing the candles out, letting the incense burn itself out. He quickly put his socks and shoes on and headed over to the leader's office. Luckily he was given a key which he was taking advantage of in order to obtain the bottle of Russian Vodka hidden in the office desk drawer.

He pulled the bottle out of the drawer and clenched it tightly in his hand. He walked over to the corner of the office next to the filing cabinet and slid down the wall and sat on the floor. He twisted the cap off and took a drink. He flinched at the taste, and the burn began as it went down his throat, causing him to cough. He brushed his hand through his hair. He looked down at the bottle in his hand and got a glimpse of the tattoo on his arm. He rubbed his finger across the compass tattoo. The voices haunting him again.

"Tattoos seal your allegiance to the congregation as a member and is a symbol of spirituality."

I'm marked forever Louis thought to himself. He tipped the bottle to his mouth and took another drink noticing that it didn't burn as much going down as the first one did. He was hoping it would soon numb his thoughts. He started to tear up as he remembers back to his initiation ritual.

There was only a selected few members of the congregation present. They were in long flowing black robes. The hoods were not only covering their heads but most off their faces as well. They had their hands tucked into the bishop sleeves of the robes. There was a couple dozen candles lit throughout the room. It was the same room that Louis had led the congregation into the celebratory ceremony of chants.

Louis took another sip and started crying as his memory returned to the painful ritual that will forever be embossed in his brain. A rope was placed around his neck and then he was blindfolded. Louis balls up his fists as he starts hitting himself in the head trying to beat the visions out of his mind. He starts rocking back and forth in full sobs.

The memories returned full blast now. He shakes his head as he remembers being led around the room as chants are being heard. He winces as he remembers a sharp pain on the palm of his hand followed by the feeling of warm liquid he knew was blood. "That is a path for all of your sins to escape through" he heard as the robed men continued to chant. The blindfold was removed but the rope around his neck remained as he was guided into a coffin where he was placed in until the ceremony came to a close.

The alcohol was starting to take effect. He was starting to feel relaxed and the room felt as if it was spinning. Louis reached in his pants pocket and dug out the only good memory he thought he had left in his head.

It was a photograph of him and his mom taken on Mother's Day 3 years ago. He was so happy then. He studied the photo closely; he never wanted to forget that day. He had just come back from a wonderful lunch with his mom. It was such a beautiful day out, bright and cheerful. He was in his signature clothes, white and navy blue striped shirt, red chinos and white toms. He also had on his favorite grey beanie he had gotten for his birthday.

They had just gotten out of the car when his little sister came running out of the house with the camera in her hand. He smiled at the thought of how carefree his sister was with the camera. She knew how to take awesome pictures. The sunlight was shining across their faces, highlighting the features of their noses and cheeks. The smile on his face displayed that he didn't have a care in the world.

 He took another drink from the now half empty bottle. He shook his head in embarrassment; she would be heartbroken if she could see him now. How did he end up this way? he asked himself. Would she ever forgive him? And how was he ever going to get out of this nightmare he had to live everyday? The tiredness took over and all he could see was black as he closed his eyes.