Fierce Love

Chapter 23: Nate

Nate's POV: 

Despair. 

That's all I felt as I drowned my nth glass of scotch. My whole form was numb from the alcohol coursing through my veins, I was a complete, utter mess, but I couldn't bring myself to care even the slightest bit. 

I shut my eyes tightly while groaning aloud due to the massive headache I was sporting, but the moment I shut my eyes, the same images flashed through my head, the horrendous images that destroyed my newly found sanity. 

A slight growl escaped my lips as I sloppily poured myself another glass of the intoxicating drink, but I needed to forget. 

The memory was imprinted in my head, and an ache stung in my chest as I recalled what happened. 

I couldn't let Lilly go, I couldn't let her leave mad at me, so I followed her, along the way trying to suppress the thoughts of anything going on between her and that Ryan guy, I tried to convince myself that it was all in my head, that I was being obsessive and extremely territorial over Lilly and that what they had was purely friendship.

I noticed Lilly's cab pulling up near an abandoned park, which made me frown a bit, I saw her rush over to a huddled form that was barely noticeable in the dark, Ryan. I could see her pulling him up, trying to support him up properly, as he seemed to be talking to her, but I couldn't hear anything considering how far away I was. 

Just as I was about to open my door to leave the car, I saw the most heart shattering scene play upon my eyes:

He kissed her. 

And what ached more was the fact that she stood still. She didn't push him away. 

"F*CK!" I yelled aggravated and hurdled my glass to the nearest wall shattering it into a million pieces. 

I stumbled to the nearest couch, slumping onto it while rubbing my face, I was angry and furious but most importantly, hurt. 

I felt so stupid, I always said that I won't fall for a girl, I was the heartbreaker not the heartbroken; and here I was mourning over a girl. I can't believe I actually allowed myself to become so vulnerable to a girl, to let her take the stirring wheel of my life and play me the way she wanted. I stopped becoming the person I was, just because of her. 

And that was a mistake.  

But this wasn't any girl, this was Lilly. She was different, I thought she'd never hurt me, I was constantly worried that I might end up hurting her and completely dismissed the thought of it being the other way round. 

"What the heck? Nate? Dude!" I heard Xavier's frantic voice calling. 

I cracked my eyes open to see him advancing me with the worried look that I got accustomed to, but I haven't received that look for a while. It was the look he gives me when I drink way too much. 

"How did you find me?" I slurred. 

The moment I left that horrid park I drove straight to the cottage, wanting to be far away from everyone, to think things through or in other words drown myself in alcohol. I was messed up. 

"I'm your best friend, Nate. I've known you for years so that wasn't some jigsaw puzzle to solve." He replied, trying to pull me upwards into a sitting position. I swatted his hands away, "Let me be, then, Xavier I want to be alone." 

"Nate, what the hell are you doing to yourself? I thought you were over the whole drinking to death thing!" He yelled, running his fingers through his hair. 

"Well, you thought wrong." I deadpanned, tumbling off the couch to the bar ready to pour myself a glass of whisky. 

"Nate, stop that! And wait a second do you know how worried Lilly is about you? You suddenl-" I couldn't let him complete that sentence.