Fierce Love

Chapter 15: Lilly

Empty.......

A word I can associate myself with more than I would like. That's exactly how I felt after running out of those school doors. I know I shouldn't be so sad after I heard what Nicole said, she would throw these comments at me the whole time but something was different, Nate was there, he saw everything!

After I cleared my mind and regained my composure I texted Ryan telling him to meet me at the gym, I haven't been there in forever, that is if you consider forever a last night, I know I have problems.

Luckily, the gym was empty because it's one o'clock and everyone's either working, hanging out with their friends at their school's or just having a normal life, something I wished for but yet, it sounded so foreign. I took a couple of steps towards the punching bag and just stared at it. To be honest, I wasn't angry, sad, heartbroken, nothing.....I could feel nothing, numb was the word I guess and I was terrified. At least I could feel anger, but now I think I was mentally and physically incapable of doing it anymore, it was impossible.....

So, I did something I promised myself to never do after my dad's death, my knees wobbled as I sank to the ground and cried. I cried out my frustration, my heartbreak, the overwhelming disappointment that was eating me alive but most of all.....my loneliness.

Fortunately, Ryan sent me a text later saying that some drunk customers broke the windows of his car, Skittles Jr, I'm not the only one who's messed up! After wallowing in self-pity for about an hour, I went to th locker room to change my outfit only to find my screen lighting with a call from Nate. I didn't answer, I knew that if I did he would hear my hoarse voice from all the sobbing or I might even break down in front of him and tell him everything. I didn't want that, at all. Shut up! We both know that you want to tell him anything! You're going to blow up with all the responsibilities and worries running around your mind! That annoying voice fired back. That was true, to some extent, I guess.

I wrapped my hands in a white bandage so that it won't bleed. I started with a set of push ups and sit ups and then I started punching the bag thinking it was Nicole's face the whole time (A/N: Kids don't try this at home!). After hours of punching aimlessly and sweating profusely, I could feel my knuckles getting numb. I crawled over to one of the mats and laid on my back staring at the ceiling and taking ragged breaths. I felt the phone vibrate next to me for the billionth time today, it was either Xavier or Nate, I was sure of it. They haven't left me alone since the morning when I left school and I hate them for it but at the same time a small part of me liked that they gave me their attention even if we weren't friends for too long. I like that they seemed to care.

A while later when I was packing my stuff to leave. Ryan burst through the door with a wide grin on his face. "You're such a gentleman! Ditching me for your stupid car and not even bothering to call." I bombarded him, not even glancing his way as I zipped my bag up and passed by him. I wasn't necessarily angry at him, I was just annoyed. I think I'm on my period cause I'm starting to get needy as hell.

"You're going to love me after I tell you this!" Ryan said enthusiastically as he pulled me back to him. 

"What?! Did you land me a place in the Underground Tournament?" I asked sarcastically as I pulled my arm away from him, definitely my period.

"Yes, yes I did! I'm an awesome friend!" he smiled at me waiting for me to react.

"This isn't April's Fool. is it? Cause I swear if it is I'm going to break your neck Ryan!' I threatened, trying to contain my happiness. 

"Calm down, Lilly! I'm not kidding! Here are your papers with all the dates and your opponent's names."  he defended, handing me brochures and tons of paper.