Hands on Me (A Twilight Fanfiction written by IndependentIndividuality)

Chapter 55: In Which It Really is This Time

Chapter 55: In Which it Really is This Time
A/N: Okay, y'all, lots of stuff to say this go around! The first is that Hands on Me was nominated at The Sparkle Awards again! For The Paris Award, Best Jacob/Anyone Tale! Yay! So, yeah . . . I'll let you know when voting starts! Also, please drop by and vote for The Sweetest Girl, if you already haven't!

Here's the link: /sortofbeautifulchallenge

Now, about the chapter - it's a pretty big one. Kinda intense. There isn't much to say about it besides that - I really hope you like it. It was very emotional to write Jacob like this - poor baby. He really gets it in this chapter. I'm really proud of the phase at the end so I hope you all like it - I'd love feedback from you lovely people, as always.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything, especially not the mind-blowing lyrics by Warsan Shire. They're all hers.

what is to be said
of people who only come alive
when touched by another,
surely it is a serious matter
if i am dead whenever we come apart.

- warsan shire, day twenty-nine

My heart thudded. I knew it. I knew something was wrong, and here it was. But what was it? What could it be? I tried to swallow the lump in my throat as I nodded into Jacob's, urging him to go on.

"Alice . . . we've decided . . ." Jacob swallowed hard and squeezed me a little tighter, holding me tight against him. "We want to ambush them. Alice thinks we'll have a better chance that way."

I don't know why Jacob was telling me this now, but I nodded again, reaching my arm up to wrap around his neck. Jacob's lips fell down to press against my hair.

"Nessie," Jacob said evenly, in a tone I'd only heard one time before. And I hadn't liked the words that came after it. "We're leaving in two days."

I froze in Jacob's arms. Froze, completely. Every single muscle in my body seized up.

"Two days as in?"

How was my voice steady? How was my voice operative?

"As in the day after tomorrow."

I was falling. This couldn't be happening. This wasn't happening. I had five days left. Five, not two.

"You lied to me."

I don't remember making the decision to say those words, but I heard my voice say them. Jacob held me tighter like he could squeeze the words out.

"No, Nessie, no," Jacob said hurriedly, his hand reaching up to pull my face to meet his. He stared me straight in the eyes. "I would never lie to you, Nessie. When I told you two weeks, I was telling the truth, but things change."

The tears came up then, hot and fast.

Jacob was leaving. Leaving. In two days. He would be leaving and might never come back. My hours had just got cut in half. Less than half.

I wanted to hit Jacob. To scream and hit and bite and kick and curse at him for even thinking about leaving me, but I lacked the will. Because I also wanted to cling to him, pull him down on me and kiss him and feel him inside me until the very last second before he had to go.

I wanted to go with him. I wanted him to stay. I didn't want this.

"Don't cry, Nessie," Jacob urged me, his fingers reaching up to brush at my eyes but I shook his hand away.

"I want to cry!" I exclaimed at him, feeling childish and not caring. "You're leaving me and you might not come back and I'm so – so scared and I – I w-want to fucking cry!"

I burst into tears then against Jacob's chest and he gathered me more tightly in his arms. The sobs only got louder as he began to rock me.

My Jacob was taking care of me. My Jacob was rocking me and holding me and taking care of me but in a few hours he would be leaving and I would be alone. Maybe forever.