What About Now

Chapter 49 - Disbelief

Taylor's P.O.V.
"So this is me I guess," Kaya smiled half-heartedly, turning to look at me. We were at the airport, and I was here to wish her goodbye.

"You gonna be okay without me? You sure you don't want me to-"

"Go on, get outta here!" I laughed, wrapping my arms over her shoulders.

"Wow. Really feeling the love here!" She laughed sarcastically, hugging me back.

"I'm gonna miss you, Kaya," I mumbled into her shoulder quietly, keeping back the tears. Over the years, Kaya had become a sister to me, and after what had happened to Sydney and between me and Ben, she was really the closest person I had left.

"I'm gonna miss you too, Tay," She said as she pulled away from me. There were a couple tears shining in her eyes but she held them back with a soft laugh.

"We'll see each other soon though, yeah?" She rose her eyebrows at me uncertainly, "You're coming home soon, aren't you?"

"Um, I'm not sure," I mumbled, shifting my handbag on my shoulder, "I'll have to think about it." Kaya gave me a sympathetic look and then put on her brave face.

"Well then," She smiled, stooping down and picking up her suitcase, "I can't keep New York waiting any longer. I must fly!"

"Go on then!" I laughed, pushing her away, "I'll say goodbye to Dylan for ya! Go get 'em tiger!"

"Will do, my little kitten!" She giggled over her shoulder as she headed for the check-in.

"Hey, why am I the kitten?" I pouted, only making her laugh louder. Sighing, I stood there and watched Kaya join the end of the queue. She turned back to me and nodded her head at the crowd.

"Looks like I'm gonna be here till I'm fifty, so you might as well go now! Save yourself!"

"You're such a drama queen!" I exclaimed loud enough for her to hear. Rolling my eyes, I waved goodbye to her one more time and turned away.

Wiping a stray tear from my eye, I climbed into my car and headed home. I didn't want the radio on, and I wasn't in the mood for one of my playlists, so I sat in the car in silence. Well, I say silence but it wasn't really. Thousands of thoughts pounded my brain, each one trying to scream louder than the other. Thoughts about Ben. Thoughts about Thomas. Thoughts about New York. They were overpowering. As I pulled up at a set of traffic lights, the voices in my head became too much for me, and I furiously hit my forehead.

"Shut up, shut up, shut up!" I cried, continuing to practically hit myself in the face. Giving up, and with my head now sore and aching, I returned my hands to the wheel and gripping it tightly. I suddenly had the sense that somebody was watching me, and looking around to my left, I noticed a woman in the car beside me, watching me with furrowed eyebrows.

"Hi," I smiled sheepishly, before sinking my head into the hood of my coat. Brilliant. Fantastic. So now, not only do my friends and family know that I'm a complete freak, but now some strange lady does too! Absolutely bloody-

"Sir, there is a message for you," Jarvis spoke loudly through the Bluetooth in my car. I shot up out of my seat and my heart skipped a thousand beats.

"Bloody hell!" I breathed, placing a hand over my heart. Yes, don't judge. Jarvis is my message ringtone on my phone. But I never remember putting it up that loud! Nervously checking up on the traffic lights ahead of me, I made sure they were red before returning my attention to the message. It was from Ben.

Ben - You need to come and collect these.

Attached to the message was a photograph of some books that I had lent to Ben whilst he'd been travelling. I'd completely forgotten about them, but they were a few of my absolute favourites. There was no way I was leaving them with Ben. When I arrived back at home, and I'd made sure that I'd walked as fast as I could past Thomas' door, I opened up a new message to Ben.