What About Now

Chapter 50 - My Decision

Taylor's P.O.V.
From the second I'd heard the knock, I felt the lump grow in my throat. I knew it all along, and I looked from Ben to the door. There was a panicked look on his face and he took a step towards me with his arm outstretched.

"Taylor, wait-" He tried to reach me before my hand reached the door handle but he was too late. I pulled the door open too quickly for him and looked out into the corridor. A girl, wearing a long black coat, stockings and heels, stood before me. Her face was caked in make-up, and her long copper locks tumbled down her sides in loose waves. The smile that had once been plastered on her face when I'd first opened the door, slowly changed to a frown when she saw me.

"Um, who are you?" She asked with an extremely annoying accent that made my skin crawl, "And what are you doing in my boyfriend's hotel room?" Boyfriend? Boyfriend?

"Boyfriend?" I asked, turning back to Ben. His face was white like a ghost, and his eyes darted rapidly between us two girls.

"Ben, who is this girl?" The girl at the door whined, "Didn't you remember that I was coming over today? You were meant to have made sure that that cow of a fiancée of yours was out of the picture by today, so that you and I finally had some alone time."

"And that cow of a fiancée is stood right in front of you!" I growled, shooting her a death glare. The girl looked at me for a moment, eyeing possibly every inch of my face, before tilting her head to the side and looking over my shoulder at Ben.

"I thought you said she was pretty?" That was the last straw for me. Heartbroken, lost for words and embarrassed, I turned on Ben.

"How could I have been so blind?" I shook my head in disbelief, "You never loved me did you? You never had a job out in Europe did you? Or at least, you were never alone during your travels."

"Oh honey, you actually believed that?" The Barbie doll smirked, "Hey, hun? Did she believe the whole 'sleeping with Thomas' thing too?" I didn't even look at her as she spoke. I just continued to stare at Ben. His eyes were glancing at the floor, and he shifted his feet uncomfortably.

"Um, I didn't want it to end like this..." He mumbled, "I didn't want you to know that-"

"Know that what, Ben?" I scoffed, "That you've been cheating on me? That you've been using me?"

"No-"

"Just answer me this, Ben. Did you ever actually have a job in Europe?"

"Yes," He said in a quiet tone, "But I wasn't exactly alone." Ben looked up at me with a scared expression. He was probably terrified that I was going to throw something at him, but I was way too angry and hurt for that. Not only had he broken up with me over a fake story, that had practically cost my friendship with one of my best friends, but now I'd just found out that my long-term fiancé was never actually doing what I thought he'd been doing!

"Question number two." I growled, "Did you ever come over to my house last night?"

"Yes I did," He protested quickly, before returning to his quiet state, "But when I got there, I heard you and Thomas talking. I didn't want to break up with you and see you break down like I knew you would, so I thought that, that-"

"That this would be better?" I cried, "Breaking my heart by making me believe that I'd cheated on you? With my best friend! You thought that would be the better option?" Ben didn't reply, but instead looked back at the floor.

"Um, can I come in please?" Barbie piped up again, taking a step over the threshold, "It's pretty cold when you're only wearing a coat." I looked at the girl in disgust before turning back to Ben.

"Unbelievable," I shook my head as I bent down and placed my box of books on the floor, "But you know what Ben? Despite the fact that at the minute I really want to wring your neck for breaking my heart, I'm actually happy that it's had to end like this. At least now I won't go home and feel like I've lost the one I love in my life when I actually know that you never loved me in return. Instead, I am now four years in debt of my life, and I am now one jerk less." With that, I took the engagement ring from my finger and threw it at him. It bounced off his suit and hit the chest of drawers with an echoing clang.

"And take that back," I spat, retrieving my box from the floor, "At least there won't be any strings left attached in this relationship."

That was the last I ever saw of Ben. I didn't look back once as I walked out of his hotel room. I passed Barbie without a word, and walked away down the corridor, feeling that girl's eyes bare into my back as I did. I heard a high pitched laugh escape her mouth, and moments later heard the hotel door shut loudly. But I never looked back. I hardly made it to the lift before the tears of anger pooled in my eyes. I would say that at that moment in time, I was at the angriest I'd ever felt before in my life. I was angry, hurt, lost, confused. But all the while, as I left that hotel without a single word to anyone and clutching my box of possessions, I couldn't help but feel as if there was a little person in the back of my head saying 'You knew it all along'. And when I entered my flat for the third time that day and buried my head in my hands as I collapsed on the sofa, that voice spoke louder and louder in my head until it felt like it was deafening me.

"Why was I such a fool?" I spoke quietly to myself, "I could see it all along, and yet I ignored it because I loved him." I knew that I had never been truly happy whilst I'd been with Ben, and I had truly wasted the last four years of my life with the wrong person.

"Oh my God, I'm bloody sick of this!" I cried, furiously wiping the tears away from my eyes. Everything just seemed to be happening to me at this point in my life, and no matter how desperately I tried and tried to find a solution, I couldn't see an end to it. With my body shaking from the stress and hurt, I looked up around me and my eyes fell on something in the kitchen. The sticky note that I'd placed on the fridge. And that was the end for me. Turning away from the yellow piece of paper, I looked back at my cardboard box and lifted Mickey Mouse from the top of my books.

"Well I guess I know what I have to do then, Mickey," I spoke to the cuddly toy mouse, "I know what I have to do."