What About Now

Chapter 47 - Nothing Else To Say

Taylor's P.O.V.
"Taylor, I never slept with her!" He yelled, shouting me down, "Bloody hell, I never slept with her! I've been trying to tell you that for the past year now, but you never wanted to know! It was all a lie!" My breath caught in my throat, and for a second my heart stopped beating. It had been a what? A lie? But how was that possible?

"W-what?" I said under my breath, looking Thomas dead in the eye. He looked down at the floor and scratched the back of his neck.

"A week after I'd tried calling you and calling you, I confronted Molly about the whole thing. She just laughed it off and said how she wanted to get revenge on the pair of us," He let out a shaky sigh, "So she made it all up! She was at the party that we went to that night, and once I'd got it out of her, she told me how she'd spiked my drink to get me to go home with her! When I woke up the next morning, I left her house immediately. I didn't know what had happened, and I had no idea how to tell you! And then she turned up two weeks later to say that she was pregnant." Silence followed again, though this time there were no heavy breaths in the background. We just stood there in silence - me watching Thomas and Thomas looking down at the floor. There were tears in his eyes, I knew it, and I could already feel the new rush of tears forming in mine. After all this time, and he'd never actually slept with her. It had all been a lie. A lie that had cost me four years of my life to go by in pain.

"Why didn't you tell me?" I said shakily, this time trying to keep my emotions under control. But it was Thomas' turn to shout now.

"I tried, Taylor! I tried with all my might!" He cried, this time looking at me straight on, "When I found out I instantly went to Dylan's house so I could find out where you were! At first he wouldn't talk to me about you, but after I had practically broken down in front of him, he told me that you'd taken that job in New York! So I went and got on a bloody plane and flew out there to find you. I had the address of where you worked and everything. But when I arrived there, I saw you coming out of the office with some guy who had his arm wrapped round your waist!" Something twinged inside of me. I'd met Ben during my first month at the newspaper. But surely-

"It was Ben." Thomas said bluntly, confirming my thoughts, "It was Ben who you were laughing with."

"Thomas, why didn't you tell me?" I repeated, "If you'd had just-"

"Taylor how could I have told you?" He shouted, this time making me jump, "I was heartbroken to see you with another guy! I didn't have anything else to do, so I just left New York and came back home. I never saw Molly again - I'd told her that if she came within a hundred years of me I'd go to the police and report her for spiking my drink - and I carried on with life."

"So that's it then?" I sighed, feeling the anger start to rise within me again, "You just left it at that? Do you have any idea how much bloody pain I was in for so long? How I didn't want to find another guy? I thought you'd cheated on me! I thought you'd used me! And now I'm just supposed to accept the fact that you didn't and that you decided not to even tell me?"

"And Taylor do you have any idea how much pain I was in?" He was full on crying now. We both were.

"And I've been trying to tell you from the minute you came back from New York! That's what I was trying to tell you last night!"

"But instead you took advantage of me?" I finished him off, "Instead you thought that because you couldn't be with me then no one else should?"

"That never happened!" He fumed, "I wasn't even that drunk, so I remember it all very clearly! And I don't even remember Ben actually turning up, let alone walking in on us! Taylor, have you never actually wondered why Ben's never with you? The fact that he always seems to be working? I told you from the first moment you'd spoken about him, and I still say it now that nobody has that little free time off work!"

"Oh, so what are you proposing then?" I shrieked, "That Ben's cheating on me? That Ben's been seeing some other girl all this time? Like I'm supposed to believe that! Like I'm supposed to believe anything you say!" That was it for me. I had no more strength left inside of me to argue any more. It felt like I had used up all the energy that I had left in my body, and now all I could feel was pain. I could still feel the blood rushing from my nose, and I could begin to taste it enter the side of my mouth. My face was soaked with tears and no matter how hard I blinked they just kept falling. I turned to the door in silence, feeling Thomas watching me as I opened it. I didn't say a word to him. Not as I walked out the house. Not as I looked back at him for a moment, feeling like there was something else I needed to say to him. And not as I slammed the door shut with a crash. There was nothing else to say. Not now. Not ever.