Forgotten Friend | tomlinson

38} Holding On

"I love you."

The words were warm and sincere. Three simple words everyone wants to hear in life. It doesn't seem possible, but it only took milliseconds for my heart to swell, all the while my stance was frozen - scared that the slightest movement can ruin the moment. My eyes dart to his, which was immediately trapped into his bright blue irises, like drifting off into the ocean. They were cautious, but loving, and determined.

I love you too.

I wanted to scream it out loud. I wanted to tell the world. I wanted him to know that I cared for him just the same, and maybe even more. But I couldn't. I don't know. Such bad timing to have doubt about this, I know, but I can't seem to say it. It's like having the jitters before a rollercoaster, and you're just not ready. I-I'm not ready.

Realizing that I've stayed silent for this long, I muster a smile. A smile isn't even close enough compared to an I love you, but that's all I could manage.

I sigh, cupping his delicate face in my hands and connecting our foreheads together, and for a brief moment, I thought we were going to kiss. We didn't. I stare right back into his entrancing eyes.

We stayed like that for a while, foreheads together and eyes locked. Sure, maybe it looked awkward, but between Louis and I, it wasn't weird at all. After a while, his face relaxed just the slightest when it was clear that I wasn't going to make a move. Understanding washed through his face, and he rested his hands on my hips in a comforting way.

"I shouldn't have sprung this on you so suddenly," his eyes dart nervously to the ground, "but I couldn't go on another moment without you knowing it. Jess, I've loved you ever since we were kids, and I hate myself for waiting this long to tell you. And I'm sorry for everything that I put you through, especially in the past years. And the fact that I stole you car only five hours ago. And-

I press a soft kiss to the side of his cheek. I couldn't help it, he's so adorable.

Louis chuckles, and I could see a blush forming, "That was a nice way of telling me to shut up."

I slightly step back to give us enough space to see each other. "I forgave you for all that already, remember? I may never forget it, but I forgive you. Don't let that eat you away, okay? Everything's fine now, we're together and happy."

His head ducks down, "Yea, together and happy."

I loosen my grip on him, but not completely, "I-I'm sorry." I stammer, "You know I love you, Louis, I always have. It's just..."

His head perks up, "Wait, you love me? Like, love-love me?"

I hold back my laugh, "Yes, you dimwit. I love-love you."

He smiles so big it can stretch across the entire city. "Are you sure?"

"I'm pretty sure."

"You were saying something else... Like you love me, which already made this day the greatest day ever, but...?"

I take a big sigh, "I don't want to go through, you know - all this. The drama and whatnot, I just don't want to get hurt again. It was like we were going in circles. I hope this makes sense."

Instead of being hurt, his face softens and he actually laughs, "I understand. I could use a little less drama too."

I let go a sigh of relief, "Just to be clear, you're not gonna leave me again, right?"

He laughs, "Are you kidding?" a pair of arms wraps around my waist and pulls me into a hug, "I'm never letting you go. Not again, at least."

I giggle and tighten my arms too, "Good to know the feelings mutual."