host family ; jack gilinsky

nine

jacks pov

i make my way up to luna's room after my mom leaves the kitchen. i slide into her room to see that she has already fallen asleep again. i sit at the edge of her bed, next to her stomach.

i lift up her shirt once again to see the cut. i run my hand across it, seeing that it looks better today than it did yesterday. i then move my hand up to her face, moving the hair that is in her face.

i get a good look at how she looks. she's so peaceful and calm. she doesn't belong in this world with me. she deserves to have a good life. and her being here with us isn't going to be anything but bad for her.

i wish it wasn't too late for her to go back, because i would drive her to the airport right now if i could. i don't want her to be involved in this lifestyle. she is just going to keep getting hurt, and she doesn't need any of that.

i thought that if i pushed her away, nothing would happen. thats why i was so harsh and rude to her when she first got here. i didn't want her to get hurt because of me, but its too late now.

she deserves to be with someone who will protect her no matter what and will cherish her. she needs someone who is all about her and can give her all the things in life that she wants. i can't do any of that.

i knew that her coming here this summer would be nothing but trouble and heartache, but my mom didn't listen. she thought that she would be safe with us. well she was wrong.

luna turns under my touch and opens her eyes. "jack?" she asks with a sleepy voice.

"its me." i say softly as i retract my hand from her head. i sit there for a moment just looking at her. there is no denying that she is beautiful, but i have a girlfriend. and I'm no good for her anyways.

"you can lay down." she says as she rolls over and gives me room to lay next to her. i shake my head, ready to stand and leave. before i get the chance to, she grabs my hand and pulls me back. "please."

i contemplate it before sighing and laying down with her. "thank you." she whispers. i nod my head as i watch her close her eyes and her breathing steadies.

"stop staring." she whispers as she laughs. i smile at her, even though she can't see. i continue to look at her even though she just told me not to. i just can't tear my eyes away from her.

this is the first time i have actually gotten the chance to look at her without fully noticing. i can see all of the little freckles on her nose and cheeks. and how long her eyelashes are. and how plump her pink lips are.

they just look so kissable. i find myself getting harder to contain myself as i look at how gorgeous she really is. even her eyebrows are perfect.

madison doesn't even compare to her; i know thats horrible to say. but its true. madison is a gorgeous girl, but she's a different kind of gorgeous.

luna is mature. madison is still a little teenager. luna is an adult, and she understands me. madison is only sixteen, and is on a different level. i mean, i love madison, but she still likes to do little teenager things.

luna likes to do things that are grown up and more relaxed. she doesn't need to go out to have fun, and she understands what its like to be out of high school and to be out on your own. she also understands what its like to be in a drug business now. madison doesn't even know anything about that.

madison is still stuck in her party fazes. i don't like to party anymore, i have had my share of parties when i was sixteen and in high school too. and she doesn't understand that i don't like to do that shit anymore. and plus, she still likes to gossip with her friends about all the cute boys in school; which to be honest, kind of pisses me off.

madison just doesn't understand what it's like to be on your own yet because she is living off of her parents money and she will be for the rest of her life.

if something ever happens to my mom, that's it. I'm going to have to literally fend for myself and figure everything out on my own. madison will never have to go through something like that.

luna is just way more mature than her, and thats why I'm so drawn to her.

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damn daniel, back at it again w the white vans