Here's to the Heartache (Frerard) *Discontinued*

24: Who Knew Phone Tag Could Be So Heartbreaking

Frank wasn't sure how long he stayed curled up in that same spot, but eventually, he knew that his solitary moment had come to an end, as all things must, so with a weary sigh that seemed to come from the bottom of his toes, Frank heaved himself to a standing position, patting the ground fondly in a silent farewell before turning back the way he had come, stretching his stiff legs as much as possible in an effort to arrive home in a somewhat timely manner.

And as much as Frank wasn't looking forward to facing whatever was awaiting for him within the four walls that he now loathed more than he most teenagers should, at least Frank didn't have to worry about work on top of the stress that came with looking after his mother; he had taken the week off from the restaurant in order to acclimate himself to the new school year, or at least, that was the excuse he had fed to his boss who had bought it hook, line, and sinker. Frank hadn't been aware of how badly he would need the mini-vacation until just now, but he was grateful for his unintended foresight, because the added pressure of making it through a shift in his current state would surely have broken him, not that he wasn't borderline destroyed already.

Frank didn't feel on the verge of ruination right now though, in fact, he might almost be able to say that he okay if he was asked; his detour to his and Gerard's place had done wonders for his fragile psyche, and apparently spending a few hours reminiscing over all the good times he and Gerard had shared had been exactly what he needed to revive his weary body for a short time, even his feet felt lighter as he continued onward at a brisk pace.

As Frank walked, he found his mind wandering to the topic involving why he was so emotionally devastated over what had occurred between him and Gerard, and with his newfound semblance of peace still lingering after his stay in the meadow, Frank began to realize that his reaction was decidedly odd when he took a step back and truly looked at their situation with a critical eye.

Gerard was important to Frank - that was a given, but why did he mean so much to him, and how had he managed to slip through Frank's defensives that he rarely let down, and never as quickly as he had done for Gerard. Frank had only known him for a little more than a month, which was a tiny blip of time relatively speaking, but he had somehow become Frank's entire world in the span of four short weeks, which led Frank to ponder how much their bond would have grown if Gerard wasn't Frank's teacher.

Frank had a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach that he would never be privileged enough to find out though, because Gerard still hadn't contacted him, and fuck - with every second that passed without some form of reassurance from the older man, Frank was quickly beginning to lose hope in the fact that Gerard might be able to see past his age once the initial shock had worn off.

That didn't mean that Frank was going to stop waiting for him though - hell, Frank would probably hold out for Gerard for the rest of his life if Gerard asked him to, but still - Frank wasn't sure how much longer he could last without doing something idiotic like confronting Gerard in his classroom. He didn't want to cause a scene, he just wanted some acknowledgment, a wave - anything really, even a simple touch would be enough to keep him going until Gerard decided what would become of them and their illegal relationship.

Frank wondered if he was simply fooling himself into believing that he and Gerard had something special, that maybe he was somehow inflating everything to give his life some sense of purpose that he had been missing ever since his father left. Gerard was his first real boyfriend after all, and even though he had been with numerous people sexually over the course of his short life, they had never captured his interest like Gerard had managed to, which could all be an easily explained product caused by teenage hormones and actually feeling wanted for once.

But no - there was more to their connection, something besides for physical attraction and a desire for attention that every human possessed, there was an emotion there that was even more intense than anything Frank had ever experienced before. Frank wasn't sure if he believed in soul mates, or true love, but if he did, he would have labeled Gerard as one of the aforementioned without a doubt, because this wasn't some high school romance, or a passing fling that Frank would forget about a few years down the line, Frank was convinced of that, and even though he wasn't sure how he knew, Frank wasn't going to fight against the conclusion that he had reached soon after meeting Gerard.