In Touch - L.T 1D

Chapter Thirty Six

Chapter Thirty Six

I watch Louis' eyes widen in shock as he takes in my words, "Oh. That."

"Lou, I want to know what I told you that day. I don't care if you aren't meant to tell me, I want you to tell me."

He lets out a big sigh, running his hand over his face, "You told me about how you went to this party and were...uhhhh...raped by a guy."

Shock courses through my body at his words. I never tell anyone that. I don't tell anyone that because it's super personal and people always end up judging me for it. Why would I tell him that? It doesn't make any sense.

"I don't tell anyone that Lou. Why would I tell you?" I ask him, my body shaking slightly.

"I can't tell you that Mimi. I can't tell you everything. You have to remember on your own, as much as I want to help you out," he whispers.

"Oh for gods sake! Why can't anyone tell me anything. I don't understand why you aren't allowed to tell me anything about my life," I huff, putting emphasis on the word 'my'. 

"Because Mimi," Liam sighs, "We can't tell you because even then, it'll just be words to you. You won't remember. And we don't want to put all this stress on you. Some of the stuff we would have to tell you is very dark Mimi. We don't want to do that to you. You need to remember in your own time."

I grumble under my breath at his words, silently cursing whatever happened for making me forget everything. It couldn't have been that bad, could it? That I would want to remember everything that happened in the past year.

I mean, I just want to remember but I can't. I have to go through the painful task of remembering things piece by piece. I cam't even choose what I remember. It's just random and that is what drives me insane. I just want to remember how close the boys and I were but I can't even do that.

"It'll be alright love," Louis mumbles as he wraps an arm around my shoulders and pulls me against his chest.

"No it won't. I can't remember anything. I hate this!"

"No Mimi. Listen, you will remember. It will take time but you will remember," he utters against my hair before he presses a kiss on the top of my head.

I feel my heart rate pick up even more than it already is, at the contact. When I said to Lou that I believe we had a special connection, I meant it. But I also meant that the fact that my heart rate speeds up whenever he touches me, or the fact that I love looking into his beautiful blue eyes, that must account for something right?

I wouldn't just wake up and have these reactions to him. I feel like a part of my brain must still remember everything that happened last year, but it just won't let me remember any of the memories that go with the feelings.

But I know that he would never have the same feelings towards me. Even though I don't know exactly what this feeling is, I know that he would never feel the same way. I mean, he's Louis Tomlinson for goodness sake. Why would have feelings towards a girl like me?

Exactly, he wouldn't. So that is why I am going to do whatever I can to hide these feelings from everyone. Especially Louis. I would die if he found that I...like him. I guess that's the only way to explain the butterflies I'm getting right now as he strokes my long blonde hair.

I like Louis Tomlinson.

And he is never going to find out because I am going to keep it hidden. As much as it may hurt to hide away my feelings for Lou, I think it will be best in the long run. I know that I will just end up getting hurt if I tell him how I feel. Best not to hurt myself anymore hey.

"Mimi, we're here."

I look up and out the window to see the name of a pizza place. I let out a small squeal as I start clapping my hands together in excitement. The boys all stare at me while laughing at my antics. Well excuse me. I have't had pizza in a very long time.

"Let's go. Louis get out. Get out. Get out. I need some pizza," I exclaim as I let my head fall into his lap.

"Wait Mimi. Listen, there might be fans there so you're going to have to wait in the car. We don't want them saying anything to you that could be rude, or anything that may be memories that we can't tell you about," Liam says softly.

I slowly let out long breath of air, "I guess."

"I'm sorry Mimi. Hey, I'll stay here with you," Louis declares.

Here we go. Time to put plan 'Don't let Louis find out' into motion.

"Nah it's okay. You can go. I'm alright here on my own."

I watch Louis' face fall slightly at my words, my heart breaking at the sight, "Oh okay. Yeah, alright. You sure you don't want anyone to stay here?"

"Yeah I'm sure. Unless someone doesn't want to go."

"I'll stay," Niall says as he rests his arm along the back of the seat.

"Yeah. Alright," Louis says quietly as he opens the door to the car and gets out. 

I watch as Harry and Liam get out of the car too before heading into the pizza shop, hoods pulled up and glasses on. Typical disguise. I let out a soft sigh as I rest my head in my hands, shaking it slightly. I hear a rustling noise so I look up to see Niall staring at me, one eyebrow raised and his arms crossed.

I sit up, staring back at him, "What?"

"Oh nothing. Just something I've noticed," he smirks.

"Niall. What is it?" I ask him, crossing my arms so I am basically copying is gesture.

"Why are you avoiding Lou?"

Damn. Niall really is observant. Who would have known...Me obviously. LOL. No, I'm joking.

But poor Lou. I feel bad that Mimi is trying to act as if she doesn't have feelings for him. It jut reminds me of Wrong Number when Louis did it to Mimi...OHHHH!

Hahaha, no. But seriously, it's quite sad. 

Anyway guys, I've posted on my Facebook page if you guys want to check that out, it would be super awesome.

I'm going to be having a little competition on my Facebook page and unless you have liked my page and entered in it, you won't be eligible to win it.

 I'll leave the link right here vvv

https://www.facebook.com/TannaJAuthor

QOTC: How many of you have actually already checked out my Facebook page?

ILYSM!

SWAG ON!

~ TJ xoxoxoxo