In Touch - L.T 1D

Chapter Forty

Chapter Forty

"What do you mean 'you miss what we used to have'?"

I let out a small sigh, stepping back from Louis, "You wouldn't understand."

"Yes I would Mimi. I would understand."

"No Lou, you wouldn't. Can you just drop it please."

I hear him let out a huff, "Fine."

I look up at him, shocked, "Why are you so mad about this?"

"Because! You're meant to trust me! You aren't meant to hide stuff away from me like that!"

"Oh really? Hello pot, kettle calling. I could say the same for you Louis," I hiss, my hands balling into fists at my sides.

"What are you talking about?"

"Oh don't think I don't know Louis. I know that you and the boys are really hurt about me losing my memories. I know this because you are usually so carefree and open and then someone brings up my memories and all of a sudden it's like there is this giant brick wall in my face when I try to talk to you."

I watch as Louis' lips fall into a hard line, "Maybe because it freaking hurts to think that the girl you care about doesn't remember you!"

"What?"

"Nothing. Just forget it. Just...don't talk to me anymore Mimi. I can't take it. I can't take hiding how I really feel about you," he sighs before brushing past me and walking quickly up the stairs.

As the anger slowly falls away, I finally feel the hurt and the shock of Louis' words as they hit me in the chest. Stumbling back, I find the banister before lowering myself onto the bottom step. How could he...? How could he stand there and yell at me like that?

How could he stand there and yell at me like it's my fault that I don't remember him? It's not like I purposely forgot my memories. I would never do something like that. Well not intentionally anyway. But I honestly can't believe him.

I feel like someone has stabbed a knife in my heart multiple times and now they are twisting and turning the handle, digging deeper and deeper until I can no longer feel. Bu the thing is, I will always be able to feel the hurt and the pain that his words have caused me. You can't just hide something like that.

It shouldn't hurt this much though, should it? I shouldn't hurt me to the point where I can barely breathe. It shouldn't hurt me to the point where I feel like my whole body is numb and I can't move. It should hurt me to the point where it feels like my heart has been shredded into millions of tiny little pieces and chucked onto the floor to me trampled on.

It shouldn't feel like that but it does. Just a million times worse.

Sure, I've only known him for about four weeks but I still felt like I was closer to Louis than the rest of the boys. We've always had this weird connection that I could never explain. It was so weird, waking up and seeing him there and then instantly feeling like there is this string pulling on your heart. 

That feeling you get when you know you are forgetting something was even weirder. Just seeing his bright blue eyes made me get this terrible, gut wrenching feeling in my stomach. It was at that moment that I knew I was forgetting something important, something that meant everything to me, but I didn't know what it was.

I still don't. I have no clue. But that connection is still there, no matter what Louis puts me through. No matter how harsh he is with his words, no matter how broken my heart is, at the end of the day, that connection is still there.