Blowing Winds

Chapter 14

We ended up watching season two of Alias, which is by far the best show ever. Michael Vaughn is one gorgeous man. Beck rolled his eyes every time Vaughn came on screen because I would make some kind of noise. Hey, when a man's just that pretty sometimes you just can't hold in your eeeps. That's what my afternoon consisted of until it was time to sleep. Which brings me here. I can't sleep.
For over two hours I have been lying in bed staring up at the ceiling. I haven't been able to get rid of the uncomfortable feeling in my stomach since Beck told me about Dakota Ann. It's hard for me to think about the fact that she killed herself. It's hard for me to think of anyone killing themselves. Poor Beck. Him having to go through that alone wasn't fair. My eyes started to grow heavy and I turned on my side.

"What do you think you're doing?"
"Philli-"
"You're so stupid. Did you really think I couldn't tell you had feelings for him?" SMACK. His hand collided with my cheek sending a shooting pain into my cheek bone. The force of the slap sent me crashing to the floor. I tried to scoot myself backwards, away from him but he reached out and snagged my foot. "Did you think I was an idiot? Huh? Did ya?" He started to shake me like a doll. My head flung back painfully.
"No! Please! I'm sorry. Phillip! I'm sorry! I'm sorry!"
"You've probably already slept with him haven't you, you little whore? That's right." He grabbed at my legs. "You spread them for him, you spread them for me." He growled.
"No! I'm sorry. I'm sorry!"
"No you're not." One hand laced into my hair and the other wrapped around my throat as he pulled me off the floor. "But you will be." He threw me into the wall and I crumpled to the floor. All of my body hurt. He put his hands of my windpipe and started to constrict it. I tried to pry his hands of, as I gasped for air. Black spots started to appear and my attempts to push him off weren't working.
"Philli- please- n- n- no. Sto-"
His eyes were murderous and I knew that it was real this time. Phillip was going to kill me.
My door creaked open and I bolted awake.
"Beck! Oh my God you scared me." I tried to control my breathing and I wiped my sweaty palms. He laughed. "It's not funny!" I chucked my pillow at him and he caught it.
"I'm sorry."
"Yeah, well, you better be." I mumbled as he sat down on my bed. "Thank you." I took the pillow from him when he pushed it towards me.
"What's wrong?" I glanced up at his concerned face. That strong, tan concerned face... My stomach tightened at the butterflies that appeared.
Really Sarah? I mentally rolled my eyes at myself.
"Nothing. I'm fine."
"You were screaming, Sarah."
I blew out all the air in my lungs and started tugging on my covers.
"It's nothing. It was just a bad dream."
"About Phillip?"
"No, I-" he gave me a look. "Yeah. It was."
"Sarah, have you ever thought of leaving him?"
"Of course I have. He's threatened to kill me if I ever do, Beck. And trust me," I took a shaky breath and looked away, "he would."
"Why haven't you told people?"
"Oh. Yeah. Because everyone is going to believe that Phillip Rogers is an abusive jerk."
"You can't honestly believe that you can keep it a secret. You're not going to marry the guy!" I shuddered.
"I'd rather die than marry him." My voice was shaky.
"What can I do? What can I do to help you, Sarah?"
"You can't." I whispered.
"Why not? Why don't you let people in? No one gets close to you. Do people even know you?"
"When people get close is when you get hurt, Beck. I let my parents in, look where that got us. I let Phillip in, that's done wonders for me." I wiped my nose on my sleeve and sniffled.
"You need to be able to let people in otherwise you are going to be alone for the rest of your life. And, Sarah, you're too great to not know."
"Thanks Beck." There was an awkward pause. You can go to sleep now. "
"Okay." He plopped backwards onto my pillow and pulled the covers over himself.
"Not in my bed, you idiot!" I hit him with my pillow and pushed him until he fell off the bed.
"Oofm! Owww. That wasn't very nice."
"Don't be a baby."
"I think I'll stay here tonight."
"On the floor?"
"Yup. It's not that bad actually. Your rug is comfy." I rolled over to look at him and gave him the stink eye.
"Get out of my room."
"Nope." He didn't even open his eyes.
"Beck." No response. "Frannie?" Crickets. "Fine. But at least take a pillow and blanket. I don't want to hear you complain tomorrow about being sore." I threw them at him and then burrowed into my own covers. Not that I figured I'd get much sleep after the dream, but now I really wasn't going to. Because there was a very attractive boy snoring on my floor. Oh lucky me.

I woke up to the sun shining right at my eyes. Blinking, I sat up and looked at the massive lump lying on my bedroom floor. I couldn't help but roll my eyes at his snoring. Quickly, I tiptoed around him to get my clothes and scooted into the bathroom. Once dressed, I washed my face and checked on Beck. As I looked at him, one eye cracked open and he smiled as he closed it.
"Morning, flower."
"Good morning." I smiled when he opened his eyes and gazed at me. "What?"
"You're pretty in the morning."
"Shut up." I threw my towel at him and shook my head.
"No really." He sat up. "I don't know why you wear make up. You don't need it."
"And you're delusional." Beck got up and walked over to me.
"Oh? Am I?" He got closer to me and I backed up against the door frame. My heart started to beat faster and for the first time it wasn't out of fear. It was out of excitement. Beck reached out his had and cupped my chin. I couldn't stop looking at his lips. Was he really about to kiss me? No way. He was not about to kiss me. He was totally about to kiss me. Did I really want to kiss him? His eyes locked onto mine and I felt like I couldn't breathe.
"Sarah..."
"Yes Beck?"
My door slammed open and we jumped apart.
"Sarah? I was calling you!" My mother stood in the hallway with her arms crossed.
"I'm sorry. I didn't hear you."
"And why was that?" She looked between Beck and me.
"Because I was talking to her while she was brushing her teeth." Beck explained.
"Uh huh." My mother didn't look convinced. I nodded. "Well, come down to breakfast both of you. Don't forget, Sarah, today's your favorite day here. It's fireworks day!"
Ohhhh yeah. There have been some fireworks alright.

At breakfast I couldn't help but glance at Beck over and over. Was he really going to kiss me? Maybe he was just kidding. It seemed like he was going to kiss me though.
You have a boyfriend, Sarah.
Yeah, one that beats me.
I was having a mini war with myself. Why did he have to confuse me? Why did he have to make my tummy melt and flutter at the same time? Why didn't he come years before Phillip? Why did I ever date Phillip? My head started to pound at all the questions pulsing through my head.
"So what're your plans for the fireworks tonight, Beck?" My mom asked.
"Well, there's always this party that Dylan Nicoles puts on so I figured I'd go there. There's music and dancing, oh and you can watch the fireworks from the pool. That's always cool."
"You should go with him, Sarah." Melinda said.
"Uh, no. That's okay. I'm not really a party kind of person."
"You should!"
"She said she didn't want to." I narrowed my eyes at Beck's quick interjection.
"Maybe I will." I gave a quick glare at Beck. He rolled his eyes.
"You just watch out for my baby, okay Beck? I'm holding you responsible for her." Now it was my turn to roll my eyes. Because I, a seventeen year old girl, absolutely couldn't watch out for myself.

**********
I'm sorry it's taken me this long to update! School is so busy and I just haven't had the time to write. I'm almost on fall break though so hopefully I can update again sometime next week. Thanks for staying cool!!

B