Blowing Winds

Chapter 16

I watched as he trudged up the pathway to the house. With a sigh, I climbed out of the car and followed him up the walkway. I had a brimming headache and I was not ready to face my mother or deal with Beck, but I can't let this go. I wouldn't be able to sleep tonight if I didn't get a chance to explain myself.

"Beck! Beck!" I grabbed his arm.

"Sarah, don't!" He shook me off.

"Beck! Would you just listen to me?"

"Why? So you can call me that bastard's name again?"

I flinched at his word for Phillip. "No."

"Or maybe you want me to hit you because that's what you're used to from him. Maybe that's why you flinch away from me. Because you actually think that I am like your abusive boyfriend!" He was yelling at me and I struggled to not curl into myself. Into my safe place. Instead, I just got angry. He started to walk away from me and that made me even madder.

"No! I wasn't calling you Phillip. I was reminding myself about him!" He whirled around to face me and I could feel his breath on my face as I looked up at him.

"Why?" He sounded like he was begging me. "Why can't you just forget about him and only think about me?" His breathing was rushed as he pulled me closer.

"B-Beck." I whispered and shook my head.

"Shh. Don't think, Sarah." He leaned in and my eyes widened. "Sarah." He whispered as he kissed my cheek. My eyelids started to flutter closed and as he leaned in I tilted my head up. He kissed my other cheek. His lips touched mine and I sighed into him. It almost felt like home. He smelled of salt water, leather, and oranges. It made the inside of my stomach melt into a puddle. His arms went to the small of my back and he pulled me closer into him as he deepened the kiss. I pulled away to breathe in air but his lips reclaimed mine quickly. He took my face in his hands and my body melted into him. I couldn't help it. He pulled away and put his forehead against mine. "Sarah." He whispered again and pulled me into a hug.

"I don't know if this changes anything, Beck." I whispered in his ear.

"I know, Sarah. I know." He kissed my cheek and gave me a sad smile. "But at least it happened."

"Goodnight, Beck."

"Goodnight, flower."

~

I've been staring at my ceiling for what feels like hours. I glanced at my clock and sighed. It read three in the morning. Only one more day. After lunch today, Michelle and I are flying back while Beck is driving back by himself to Minnesota. I don't really know who decided the traveling arrangements, but I feel like it was my mother. I think she has noticed something between Beck and me. There isn't anything between you and Beck, Sarah. I ignored the little voice in the back of my head. Michelle loves Phillip. She has no idea that he hurts me but I think he wants to deter anything that might get between Phillip and me. Anything being Beck. Michelle and Melinda have been friends since middle school and even though Beck is Melinda's son, I don't think my mother would appreciate me dating Beck. Dating Beck? Sarah, you're getting ahead of yourself. It was one kiss. One kiss. And you aren't single. I sighed as I put a pillow over my face.

"Why?" I groaned. I wish, for the millionth time in the past two years, that I had never met Phillip Rogers. If I had never met Phillip, I could be with Beck and... my thoughts trailed off. There is no use sitting here pinning away the day. I know part of me is stalling to go downstairs and see Beck. I'm afraid when I see him it will be awkward. It's only awkward if you make it awkward, Sarah. Nothing made me want to get more out of bed and stay more in bed than Beck. With a final sigh I made my legs swing over my bed and pulled myself up out of bed. Pulling on my bathing suit and slipping on my thin cardigan, I decided I was going to just meet Beck head on and pretend like nothing happened. Because I am not a single girl and I refuse to cheat on Phillip, no matter how many times he has cheated on me. My head wasn't pounding as much as I figured it would, considering I was drinking last night. Thank you, God. I walked into the kitchen and saw Beck sitting at the bar counter eating powered sugar covered pancakes.