Blowing Winds

Chapter 11

Beck had been silent ever since we got into our room. He didn't answer any if my questions. He didn't groan or argue when I put Dear John on the TV. He also didn't tell me where he was going when he left over an hour ago. I keep glancing between the door and the clock. The TV wasn't really working as a distraction to why he wasn't back from where ever he might have gone. He hasn't responded to my texts and when I tried calling him, he ignored my call. Dear John was finished and I was halfway into The Last Song when I started pacing. It was almost one in the morning and he wasn't back. What if he was lying dead in a ditch? What if someone was holding him hostage in a gas station? What if he just left me and wasn't coming back? I shook my head. No use worrying. Maybe he's just out buying something.

Just breathe, Sarah. Breathe and get ready for bed.

I had to keep blinking back tears that threatened to spill as I brushed my teeth.

I am going to kill him when he gets back. IF he gets back.

Those doubts kept whispering in the back of my head. A picture of Beck lying dead somewhere kept popping up, which wasn't exactly helping the tears situation. I was in the middle of changing into my pj's when my phone buzzed. I jumped over onto the bed as grabbed my phone. My heart fell slightly.

FROM: PHILLIP

Babe, I love you so much and all I can think about right now at night is you next to me. Sleeping in my arms.

My stomach grew queasy. Maybe he can see it, but I sure can't.

TO: PHILLIP

Goodnight.

I grabbed a pillow from behind me and stared at the door. When is he going to walk through it? I glanced at the clock, it was almost 2:30 in the morning. My eyes started to grow heavy.

CLICK

My eyes flew open as the door opened slowly. The time on the clock said 3:41. I must have fallen asleep. The door creaked open. And then Beck stepped in. He just looked at me. So I flew at him.

"How dare you?" I screamed as I started to hit at him. "How dare you leave me here without so much of a word of where you were going?" He held onto my arms but let me continue hitting him. Those tears came again but this time I couldn't blink them back. All my feelings were swirling around in me. Feelings of abandonment, fear, anger. The biggest one was relief. Thank God he was okay. If he had been hurt or dead somewhere, I would have died. I cared about him too much. And that scared me. "I didn't know of you were lying dead somewhere! And I've been trying all night to call you! Or text you! And you couldn't respond to ONE DAMN TEXT!" I sobbed. "And I can't get these stupid tears to stop! It's not like I care about you at all. Who would care about someone who will go hours without talking to them? Or someone who just gets up and leaves for FIVE HOURS?" I fell silent and realized I was in his arms. Jumping back quickly, as if burned, I wiped away my tears and turned away from him.

"Sarah-" he started but I cut him off.

"No! Ju- just stay away from me. I can't deal with another person who is just going to leave."

"Sarah. Let me explain. Please."

I shook my head and turned around to face him.

"What is there to explain, Beck?"

"Sarah," He stepped closer to me, grabbing my hands. "I went to a church." I looked at him confused.

"You... went to a church?"

"I just had to go somewhere. So I got in the car and started driving. I didn't know where I was going. I ended up at a church."

"Why were you there for hours?"