dear ethan | ✓

the twentieth letter

a/n - dedicated to qvrinv you are honestly so sweet, thank you for voting & adding my books to your reading list!! go check out her book bc it's amazing :))

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dear ethan,

another car drove straight into us. they skipped a red light & i was too busy being distracted by your idiotic mumbling to stop in time.

right before the car hit mine, you yelled out & i looked up and just saw these headlights coming straight for us.

i guess on instinct i swerved.

but when i did you got the main blow of the hit. i am so sorry, ethan. believe me, i am.

and you know what else?

they told me that if i hadn't swerved, if you hadn't yelled & i hadn't realised in time...

i would be dead, ethan.

i wouldn't be writing this letter right now, i wouldn't be wiping these tears from my face, i wouldn't be watching my best friend slowly fade away, i wouldn't be starting to get prepared for graduation, i wouldn't be living.

i would be in a casket in the ground.

i would be that dead girl.

i am so sorry ethan. i'm sorry that jack ass crashed into us. i'm sorry i didn't decide to just walk home that night. i'm sorry you're not here to experience all these little things that you're missing out on - like getting college acceptance letters & people already getting ready for prom & senior ditch day & not caring about being late for school every now and then because soon it won't matter anyway & all our favourite netflix shows streaming new episodes.

i'm sorry you're not awake to experience it all.

and i'm sorry that i am.

please wake up, ethan. i miss you.

love from your best friend,

chloe. xx

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