Her Daughter

HD ~ Chapter Four

I'm finding myself at crossroads in my life. My mom and I both want me to be able to become independent and able to venture out and do the things I want, but I'm not sure if she actually means it. She'll say that she wants me to be able to make good decisions for myself and she wants me to be able to be happy, but she says she wants these things yet she turns around and does the opposite. 

I want to be able to decide to do things for myself. I want to be happy and I think I deserve it. Still, I can't seem to ever get the words out because it's so hard to talk to her. Perhaps, I'll write her a letter or something. I find that the only way I'm able to get my words out is on paper... or well on the computer. 

Yet, if anyone has any suggestions to how I can solve this problem, I'd appreciate the help. I could really use it.

Anyway, enough of my personal/over-emotional problems, let's see what's going on with Felicity in this chapter shall we?

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Felicity

Flashback to my birthday:

"Things in life won't always be black and white, Felicity," my mother told me after my twelve birthday. "There are so many spots of gray that no one can predict what's going to happen. Everyone's different. Many kids get phase for the first time when they're thirteen anyway."

I was sitting on my bed that night with my head down and eyes red from crying. My mother had her arm wrapped around my shoulders in a failing attempt to comfort me. It was around midnight and a few hours earlier, I figured out that I wasn't going to go all furry like an alpha's child should.

She was trying to console me and make an excuse for why this was happening, but I could hear the disappointment and shame in her voice. I wasn't what she or anyone in the pack expected me to be. I didn't shift early like most alpha children had. I didn't even show any signs. She didn't try to look at me in the eyes or even smile and tell me everything was going to be okay.

Flash forward to my training:

"No, Felicity!" she shouted once again. "No! What are you doing? Stay focused! Come on! Keep going!"

I was panting heavily and my legs were shaking slightly. I was surprised I was still able to stand up straight. With a great amount of effort, I grunted and started again only to be shot down. 

"You're doing it wrong! Do what I showed you? Why is this so hard for you?" she snapped harshly. 

At that moment, I lost my footing and tumbled to the ground. I yelped as I hit the ground and shifted back. My arm was broken and tears were streaming down my face. I was exhausted and in pain. My wet eyes turned towards my mother who just sighed and shook her head. "Just shift back and heal," she told me before turning her back on me and walking away. I'd just turned fourteen yesterday.

Flash sideways to my dreams:

"You are such a disgrace," she spat. "How you could ever be my daughter is beyond me! You're weak and useless. I should've done away with you a long time ago!" she said and then paused. 

My level of fear spiked as a malicious grin spread across her face and she looked at me devilishly. She walked towards me and I was frozen to the ground I stood on. I desperately wanted to run away, but I couldn't force myself to do so. She stopped in front of my and brushed my bangs out of my face. 

"On second thought, it wouldn't be so hard now," she purred. "I could make it look so innocent. A rebel attack or a rogue. I do have so many enemies now. It would just be too easy to rip your heart out of your chest. It would sure make my life easier and take a burden off of the pack."