Later That Night..
Rory's POV
My eyes glare up at the bathroom ceiling in a glassy eyed trance, not quite focusing enough to truly see anything. The bathroom tiles are cool against my palms when I press them against the floor, my nails scraping against them as my palms ball into fists absentmindedly. I really should cut them and get a shave, it's been a while since I've last dealt with anything as trivial as personal hygiene. I guess there's far more important things to be concerned with after everything that's happened as of late.
The only thing that I really can focus on is the warmth running down my arms. My gaze twitches downward at my sides from left to right to take in the damage. The blood really is beautiful, I almost forgot how much it was until I finally caved in and withdrew an old shaving razor from the drawer. It was only meant for shaving but after it had served its intended purpose, I couldn't find the strength to get rid of it. It's always been hard for me to get rid of potential tools.
Eventually I get sick of my position on the floor and force my feet beneath me, testing and eventually trusting my weight atop them after the feeling of pens and needles leaves them. My hands clamp down HARD on the edge of the sink to pull myself straight up, keeping my head down to avoid the mirror. I really shouldn't look at myself because it'll only revolt me even further, but it's been a few days and I'm so damn curious. Gathering my thoughts, I force my gaze up and take in my reflection. My hair is unkempt and is in desperate need of a trim again, my eyes are blood shot with puffy red cheeks marked with stubble to compliment them. Heh.. I'm quite the attractive monstrosity.
Crimson lines drip down my arms along with the soothing burn to join them, the sink soon becoming covered in the red droplets. A groan rumbles in my throat in frustration over the mess I've created on the sink as well as on my body. Reaching over to the side of the sink, I snatch up a few tissues from the holder and press them carefully onto my arms before applying more pressure to stop the bleeding. The blood soaks through the tissues in blots of red and I smile at the familiar sight with wicked delight. It's been almost five years since I've last had to clean up a mess of this sort.
The bleeding stops after a few minutes of the constant pressure, allowing me to clean my wounds with warm soapy water. It stings but that's the sweetest part from what I can recall. Afterwords, I make my way out of the bathroom on heavy and exhausted feet to only collapse in the hallway. It's been a few days since I've last eaten anything or had a decent night's rest so every move I make is unsteady and weak. My eyes search the heavens yet again without my permission, my mind taking control and letting me sink into a daze of my thoughts and memories.
Closing my eyes has proven itself to be an agonizing affair now, each time with a new mental image appearing to torment me. The heaviness of my eyelids is too much for me to bare so of course I have no choice but to close them for a brief time period. My mind congers up something that I really would kill or die to forget this time.
The look on Ryan's face when he confronted me in the apartment over my act(s) of betrayal. The pain and rage in his eyes is the thing that pierces my soul and makes the tears begin to trickle down my cheeks all over again. He had every right to be so upset and heart broken over what I had done. The hell I had put him through with my own selfish deeds. It's no wonder to me now that I'm sitting up in an apartment by myself with fresh cuts up and down my wrists, tired eyes, and a hole in my gut. This is all my fault.
Riley was and still is one of the worst people that I have allowed into my life. I had met him at a party with Ryan and we hit it off in conversation after Ryan had left to go mingle with a few coworkers of mine. It started off with just some small talk and then it somehow led to more over time. I never at all expected him to make a reappearance in my life after the party was over and done with. We ran into each other again at my place of work, he had apparently been hired on as an assistant in need of training. It was nothing at all to me until he began to come around during lunches out with coworkers of mine. The conversations grew deeper, our likes and dislikes intermingled more and more over time as we grew closer. Before I even knew it we had begun to kiss on a lunch period after our friends had taken off. Since then it grew from innocent acts of affection to sleeping together with my fighting to keep Ryan and Riley separate.
I used to be so proud of being able to maintain such stealth with the both of them. None knew of the other's existence and I was intent on keeping it that way, especially when I decided I'd grown tired of Riley's clinginess and ended the relationship. However, Ryan found the note and that's when it was all over. Now I feel nothing but disgust and hate for myself over the cheating. It feels I deserve every cut on my body and morsel of food withheld from me. My body begins to wrack with silent sobs as the good memories between Ryan and I flow through my mind in a painfully perfect haze.
Ryan's lips on mine, his laugh, smile, confidence, and shyness in the softer moments. A small smile slides onto my lips before a memory I didn't know that I had breaks through to the surface of my mind.
Ryan's panicked voice, his strong hands on my shoulders, him trying to pull me up and out of a bathtub, and the aching in my wrists and at my core. But the thing that stands out the most is his eyes. His deep set eyes teeming with worry. I feel my body wracking with sobs again at that.
How could I have been so foolish? He met me with no judgement, only kindness this entire time. I fucked up bad, silly dumb me.
Author's Note.
So there you have it! A new character POV for the new sequel. What did you guys think? Rory went back to his old ways and is in pretty deep this time.
The next chapter will shift back over to Ryan but with an interesting blast from the past. I'll be keeping these updates frequent. Thank you so much for reading! And do leave a comment or vote if you feel this chapter deserved it.
Until next time.. Stay Strong.
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Love's Sins (Sequel to Silent Cries)
Ficțiune generală"He's cheating on me I know it.." I say, my voice shaking along with my body as I wipe my blood shot eyes in front of the bathroom sink. It's been precisely ten years since Bryan and his lover Rory moved out of their hometown in Ohio and into the bi...
