Love's Sins (Sequel to Silent Cries)

Chapter Fifteen - The Day I Lost It.

Three years later..
Katherine's POV

The smell of disinfectant tingles in my nose as I take in sharp breaths, careful not to jostle or make a slight move to add to my pain. My right eye is swollen shut, leaving my left eye as my only source to see from. I've been waiting in my newly assigned hospital room for the past half an hour after having been put through awful examinations that led to my screaming in agony.

Lucas had a go at me for dropping a dish by accident this time. He didn't use a weapon but his fists and feet to beat the living crap out of me. Every blow was far worse than the last and by the time he was through, I'd blacked out completely. I'm just glad that Rory was at school and unable to witness it, or worse, intervene. He can't stand when his father lays a hand on me, often times this concern ends with him getting just as hurt as me.

The door to my room opens slowly, drawing my attention and sending a jolt of pain through my neck when I moved my head. Rory steps in tentatively, his face pale and he grimaces at the sight of me. I don't blame him, I'm in a hospital gown and covered with bruises and lacerations from head to toe. "Hi baby." I say, trying my best to keep a smile on my lips for him. He edges forward, like he's afraid that if so much as moving too fast will bring me hurt.

"Hi mom.. How are you doing this time?" He asks softly, lowering his gaze and staring at his light up sketchers that I bought him for the beginning of kindergarten. I flick my tongue over my puffy and cut up lips, not wanting to lie to him. "I could be better of course, but I'm safe where I'm at and that's what matters." I finish, reaching out a shaky hand and brushing back his soft blonde curls.

He looks up at this, tears trickling down his cheeks. "I-I don't l-like it w-when he h-hurts you m-mommy." He stutters in his most childish voice. My heart really goes out to him, it can't be easy on him to see his own mother in a hospital bed after his own father beat her up. "Hey.. Don't cry, sweet pea. Your mommy's favorite little man and I need you to be strong for me.. Can you do that for me?" I ask him in my most maternal tone. He sniffles, brushing away his tears with the back of his hand and stands up straight with his chest puffed out. "Yes mommy."

I grin at him, my eyes stinging as my heart swells with affection and love for him, he's so strong and I'm the luckiest mom in the entire world. "How was your day?" I ask, now looping his thick curls around my fingers and sighing. He perks up at this. "Good. I got a piece of candy for answering a math questions right." He beams, bouncing up and down on his heels.

We continue our chat and I'm careful to keep the conversation focused around him, not wanting anymore tears to roll down that cute face of his anytime soon, until the doctor steps in. "Mrs. Neal? Would you mind if I performed an ultrasound to check for any further internal injuries?" He asks in a low voice, looking me over and squinting in distaste. I understand why, the story of falling down the apartment complex stairs is a common excuse that he's seen from me. "No, not at all. Rory? Would you mind going outside for a minute until the doctor and I are done here?" I ask him sweetly. He nods simply, turning and taking his leave from the room.

Now it's time to address with him what I've feared since the beatings. A week ago, took a home pregnancy test after having been three weeks late from my last expected period. I was near mortified when it came up positive. I didn't want to tell anyone of the pregnancy until I had managed to come up with a plan. I regret that decision now more than ever, maybe if I had just told Lucas then this might not have happened.

I lay it all out to the doctor after that, telling him of how late I was and the positive pregnancy test and how 'the fall' might have caused complications. He regarded me the entire time with a sullen expression, leaving the room to fetch the equipment for an ultrasound after. He returns, sitting down beside me and squirting a familiar gel on my belly before gliding the scanner across my womb.

The narrowing of his eyes is what worries me the most. "I'm sorry Mrs. Neal. I'm afraid that you were right to be afraid of the damages that the fall could've done.. You've had a miscarriage." He finishes, studying me face as silent tears glide down my cheeks at his words. "Do you want me to notify your husband and son?" He asks lightly. "No, I'll handle it when I'm back on my feet." I lie, not planning on telling anyone of yet another thing I'd done wrong in my life.

He finishes off his examinations of me, telling me that I am only suffering from severe bruising of the ribs and on other parts of my body such as my face, legs, and stomach. When he leaves the room, my son and a tall and tan skinned woman with her dark hair pulled back into a tight twist, our neighbor Ms. Sanchez, enter in his stead. "How are you?" She asks me, her Spanish accent and concern brushing a cool wave of relief over me. "I'm okay." I assure her, thanking her afterwords for bringing Rory to the hospital. Lucas must've admitted me and gone off to work.

I instruct her to take Rory back home, offering to pay her for all her trouble but am refused. She's always pitied me from the very first moment that we met last year, offering to take Rory and give me a hand whenever I needed it most. I would rely on her and tell her of the abuse, but she'd only judge me and call me crazy like everyone else.

My stay in the hospital is a short two days. I release myself and am able to return back home shortly after. Rory is ecstatic to have me home during the days that follow, talking to me none stop and giving me any form of help that he has to offer. He's such a sweet and selfless little boy and I couldn't be any prouder of him. Lucas keeps his distance on the other hand, staying out of my way and allowing me to sleep on the couch to give my body time to mend. We barely exchange any words, but I'm still on egg shells as normal.

My mood has been that of the most depressed person, my life now completely bringing me down. It even shows in the way that I interact with Rory and Lucas, I've grown submissive and mopey, still deep in my self pity over the recent miscarriage. I still haven't breathed a word of it to anyone, too ashamed for having been so dumb as to keep such a crucial piece of information to myself.

One day, I even found myself sobbing in the arm chair to Ms. Sanchez, having the apartment completely to ourselves. I give her no reason for my sadness, but she doesn't probe and just gives me a sympathetic ear.

"I-I just feel so down all the time.. A-and I don't know h-how to pull out of it.." I wheeze, looking down and wiping away tears with a tissue that she had offered a few minutes ago. "I think I may have something that could help ease your woes." She says at one point, making my head snap up. "Anything.. Anything to take this pain away.." I choke, stifling another wave of sobs.

"My cousin." She starts, her tan brown eyes burrowing into me. "Sells me weed. I don't smoke it all too often, just to relieve stress and unwind. I have some up in my apartment and can help you with it right now if you like?" She finishes, crossing her legs and looking over at the door. It doesn't take me any hesitation. "Yes, please." I murmur, getting to my feet and heading towards the door. Lucas has Rory at the park for the day, so I should have plenty of time. Ms. Sanchez gets up from her seat, opening the door and allowing me the first step out.

Author's Note.

Now we all know of what pushes Katherine over the edge and started her on the road to drug addiction. For a lot of people, addiction takes a long while to develop and often times it starts from a lighter drug to heavier drug. You will see in future chapters, the impacts that this one decision had made on Katherine's life and the way that she lived with it.

What did you think of the beating? Were you surprised or not? And what about the miscarriage? Did it make sense to you why Katherine wanted to keep it to herself? Also, do you like Ms. Sanchez? What's your opinion of her? She will be seen again in future chapters, so keep in eye out.

Next chapter, we will be skipping forward to when Rory is seven and we will be seeing what Katherine has done with drugs since.

Please do give that little star button a quick and easy push if you felt that this chapter deserved it. Any comment and or vote is always very much appreciated and helps motivate me to keep on writing.

Until next time.. Stay Strong.